Advice and opinions - in need of sincere help.

[Casanova]

First off, I'll start by saying that I have just recently accepted the realization that I am a bisexual. This is, quite honestly, the first time I have ever openly discussed this with anyone - I have never, in face-to-face or on the internet shown any signs of interest in men.

I am sexually attracted to men, but I do hope to one day have a wife, a big house, picket fence, with biological children and the rest of all that crap. I understand that it is probably a subconscious way of sticking to the "accepted" social stigma but regardless of the reason, it is still what I hope to one day be involved in.

You can share or discuss anything that you would like to say about the above exerpt but here is where it gets juicy:

There is a guy at work who I have started to really like. He is cute, needy, sexy, and he is my perfect type - short, husky, confident, pocket bear - just like me. I'm very picky with guys, they basically have to be like I've described or it is absolutely a no-go. Up until recently, he and I have shared the typical man-to-man conversations about girls and such, and when that happens I even get a little jealous, but I certainly do not let it show. Anyway, despite me knowing he has a girlfriend and is attracted to ladies, he has always done things that make me question his sexuality. He makes subtle remarks, seeming jokingly, but he gets really close to my face, looks right into my eyes, eyes dialated, big grins and everything; and has even grabbed my belly and tockled my sides very gently, multiple times, knowing I will have a reaction - but this was in the past. About a week ago, we got on a topic about sex somehow, and after talking about it and joking around a but, he asked a question about men. Somewhere in the middle of it he says "I don't like guys, why do you?" Then I just say something like "whatever man, you gotta have the best of both world's" and put my arms out to the side we laugh and stuff but when I was saying it I was, obviously, entirely serious about it, and I tried to make it noticable. After that point he started acting more flirty and always tries to talk about sex in anyway he can. The next day, he asks me if I want to go to the casino with him only, he did not mention his girlfriend at all - I ended up telling him that I'd like and I would let him know "tomorrow", but I completely forgot, stupidly. he said he ended up not going the next time Ispike with him at work. We were going over the work schedule together, pointing out the days we were working, and his hand hit mine, he just kept it there and neither of us pulled away - we ended up moving our hands and his fingertpis again hit my hand and stayed there for a good 10-15 seconds.

I want him so bad it's literally all I can think about.

From what I've told you guys, do you think he likes me or wats me too? My intuition tells me yes, but I just can't decide. What should I do to let him know that I like him too? Should I start doing the same "flirting" type things or should I ask him if he wants to go to the casino or something? And if he reacts strangely to my moves, should I just laugh and shrug it off as a joke?


Please keep in mind that I am entirely new to all of this. Also, this is at work so I have to be cautious. And be patient and understanding with me please, you guys are the first people I've ever told about my true sexuality. I'm just very hopeful, anxious, horny, curious, and eager to see what all of this bottled up emotion leads to.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

First off to the forum.

Only you really know whether he is flirting with you or not. From what you've said it sounds like he is, however may be waiting on you making the first move. My best advice is try and be friends first, and see what follows. Coffee, movie, casino etc. Just chill and go with the flow.

I do have one note of caution however.

Workplace romances can become very messy and stressful should they not work out. It can also cause problems between your co-workers should they realise whats going on. It can be very difficult to hide, especially if your both very flirty towards each other. Worst case scenario is it all falls apart in a messy way, making work very uncomfortable for everyone, and you could end up being outed.

Whatever you decide, its your choice at the end of the day

Good Luck,

ObW
X

[southbiochem]

Well, it does sound like he's a bit into you..

the one thing that concerns me is that he has a girlfriend so before anything happens that needs to be adressed...

try to hang out with him after work just the 2 of you, ask him if he wants to get a coffe, drink or whatever...maybe get to know him, be friends and see what happens..

OBW makes a good point though, work place romance can be tricky

good luck