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What do you guys do when your boyfriend is upset with you?
#1
So I was wrapping up work and I called my bf to see if he wanted to hang out and he sounded very distant. I kept asking what was wrong and he was upset at me for a tiny little thing I forgot to do. It was as simple as calling someone up on the phone and making arrangements for something. I did that immediately but he still said he didn't want to hang out. Without going into too much detail, this thing that I had to arrange was actually a favor for him (letting his friend borrow my car). We have a tough relationship because he lives an hour+ away from me and our work schedules collide with each other like crazy so usually one of us has to sacrifice something (e.g., sleep) to hang out. But we make it work.

In addition, I have to fly to the other side of the country for work on Wednesday and will be away for a week. I can't even remember the last time I was away from him for more than 7 days (I do travel for work but it's usually no more than 5 days and it's not that often). Now he's saying that I "don't have to" come over to visit tomorrow, which means I'd be away from him until at least next Wednesday. The last time I saw him was Saturday. I really wanted to see him again before my long trip (to me, this is a long business trip) and I hate having to leave the state with him being upset at me.

What would you do in this situation?
#2
outandabout Wrote:So I was wrapping up work and I called my bf to see if he wanted to hang out and he sounded very distant. I kept asking what was wrong and he was upset at me for a tiny little thing I forgot to do. It was as simple as calling someone up on the phone and making arrangements for something. I did that immediately but he still said he didn't want to hang out. Without going into too much detail, this thing that I had to arrange was actually a favor for him (letting his friend borrow my car). We have a tough relationship because he lives an hour+ away from me and our work schedules collide with each other like crazy so usually one of us has to sacrifice something (e.g., sleep) to hang out. But we make it work.

In addition, I have to fly to the other side of the country for work on Wednesday and will be away for a week. I can't even remember the last time I was away from him for more than 7 days (I do travel for work but it's usually no more than 5 days and it's not that often). Now he's saying that I "don't have to" come over to visit tomorrow, which means I'd be away from him until at least next Wednesday. The last time I saw him was Saturday. I really wanted to see him again before my long trip (to me, this is a long business trip) and I hate having to leave the state with him being upset at me.

What would you do in this situation?

your boyfriend reminds me of someone I know by which I mean myself lol. He's clearly being distant because you were supposed to do something and didn't do it. If I were in the same position I would definitely go to see him and perhaps take a little gift just to say sorry for forgetting (even though you have nothing to say sorry for). You need to make him feel loved and appreciated because he's feeling low at the moment, if you do leave without seeing him he will surely miss you a great deal.
#3
I'd go and see him before you go away on business. It sounds to me that he is missing you and he may have difficulty in expressing that well by, effectively, punishing you for not being with him (which is mostly out of your control in this case) and for forgetting to do something (which we all do from time-to-time, including him I'm sure).

I know it is difficult as I also have to travel occasionally but very rarely as long as 5 or 7 days, and when I do I miss my boyfriend terribly - usually, if schedules permit, I'll invite him along. The offer is usually declined (what happens during the day?), but occasionally, such as an upcoming conference, he has friends in that city that he's arranging to meet up with while I'm at the conference.
#4
Well he is the kind of guy who, if I go over to see him unannounced, he'll be even more upset. I tried that before - my commute involves calling my parking garage, going through tolls, and sitting through New York City traffic - and he greeted me with this expression of "why are you here?" If that happens it would make me even more depressed.
#5
outandabout Wrote:Well he is the kind of guy who, if I go over to see him unannounced, he'll be even more upset. I tried that before - my commute involves calling my parking garage, going through tolls, and sitting through New York City traffic - and he greeted me with this expression of "why are you here?" If that happens it would make me even more depressed.
Good grief! Some people make life SO difficult. Sorry to hear you have to put up with such immature behaviour.

I don't know the answer to your original question either, because I'm not aware that my boyfriend has ever been upset with me, and if he has he has hidden it remarkably well. If it happened I would probably go for a walk. I can see that he might be one of those people who take their disappointments out on the people they love the most, but then not liking surprise visits either? That's just strange!
#6
marshlander Wrote:Good grief! Some people make life SO difficult. Sorry to hear you have to put up with such immature behavior.

I don't know the answer to your original question either, because I'm not aware that my boyfriend has ever been upset with me, and if he has he has hidden it remarkably well. If it happened I would probably go for a walk. I can see that he might be one of those people who take their disappointments out on the people they love the most, but then not liking surprise visits either? That's just strange!

I actually ended up doing exactly what you said - I took a walk. The first good long walk I've taken in a while. I think what I need to do is just sleep on it, and let him sleep on it. He always bursts out at little things but usually gets over it. I think he may also be worrying about the week I'll be away. He actually wanted to go to this pumpkin patch thing over the weekend (but I can't because I'll be away) so it's probably just bottled up disappointment spilling its way out. Regardless, I am going to surprise him tomorrow even if he says not to. A card and a small gift are good ideas - I haven't done something romantic like that in a while.

Thanks guys Smile
#7
outandabout Wrote:I actually ended up doing exactly what you said - I took a walk. The first good long walk I've taken in a while. I think what I need to do is just sleep on it, and let him sleep on it. He always bursts out at little things but usually gets over it. I think he may also be worrying about the week I'll be away. He actually wanted to go to this pumpkin patch thing over the weekend (but I can't because I'll be away) so it's probably just bottled up disappointment spilling its way out. Regardless, I am going to surprise him tomorrow even if he says not to. A card and a small gift are good ideas - I haven't done something romantic like that in a while.

Thanks guys Smile

Don't forget a flower and a kiss involving tongue Big Grin wish you luck Big Grin
#8
outandabout Wrote:Well he is the kind of guy who, if I go over to see him unannounced, he'll be even more upset. I tried that before - my commute involves calling my parking garage, going through tolls, and sitting through New York City traffic - and he greeted me with this expression of "why are you here?" If that happens it would make me even more depressed.

I've done that to my boyfriend when he lived 45 minutes away and I was greeted with big smiles and lots of hugs and kisses. If I got the reaction you have then I'd be very suspicious. I'd be thinking "what's he hiding?" Cry
#9
colinmackay Wrote:I've done that to my boyfriend when he lived 45 minutes away and I was greeted with big smiles and lots of hugs and kisses. If I got the reaction you have then I'd be very suspicious. I'd be thinking "what's he hiding?" Cry
Knowing that I was not going to be able to be with him for his 50th birthday last year I booked a flight to go and see PA a few days earlier without him knowing I was coming. I knew he wouldn't be at work on that Wednesday, but I didn't know he wouldn't have made other plans. I was very relieved that he was there and the look of surprise and delight on his face when I turned the key in the door made getting up at 1.30am and travelling for about nine hours SO worthwhile Wink
#10
i dont understand this "go and apollogies to him" , if u do feel the need to then say sorry for forgetting the phone call - but dont say say sorry so ur BF will be all happy again that you crawled back to him excepting all blame, you already made amends by arranging something for him so if he wants to be a baby about it let him....you may have a miserable trip away from him but once your back he may realise the emotional blackmail trick wont work everytime - thats just the mood im in today i think haha ..... i better get to the gym to work it out


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