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is it necessary to come out to the world
#1
It seems a little unnecessary to be out to the world. I spoke to a friend from years ago, a boyhood friend who lives an out and proud life style. Not saying that he is wrong for that, more power to him. But I was telling him I was bisexual, he had a few opinions about male bisexuality that I disagree with, but that isn't the point. I told him I didn't see a need to make a big deal about it. Like pride bumpersticers and flags and rainbow bracelets and so on. Not saying that that is wrong, I just don't want to be all about pride. There is way more to me than just my sexuality, I actually feel my sexuality is incidental. But he was telling me I need to be out and proud and "act gay" (what ever the hell that means)

Is there really a need to tell the whole world about it? My friends know, my family knows but is in denial. Why would my boss, or traffic behind me or the clerk at Starbucks need to know? I don't feel I am hiding anything. Am I wrong here? Should I make my persona more indicative of my sexuality? If you ask me, I am out. If someone asks my sexuality I will tell them, but I don't think its necessary to advertise it. I always thought the cutesy gay guy talk and hair styles and the earrings were to tell other gay guys you are gay, so they could hit on you without fear of violence from a potential heterosexual guy.

I don't know about all of that business.
#2
No. I mean if people ask, I will tell them, but other than that, no. There is too much discrimination. Do I think we should be able to come out to the world? Yes, but it doesn't go like that,
Gay is happiness
#3
That boyhood friend seems very... prejudiced.
Having pre-conceived ideas on bisexuals that, from how you put it, sounds like you weren't too keen on, and telling you how you should act.
But perhaps i'm just reading it as more forceful than it actually played out.

No, you don't have to be out to everybody, nor make it a priority to tell people you're bisexual.

You can if you want to; but all in all, it's just not necessary.
#4
No reason to flaunt you sexuality, like you said that is just a small part of who we are as people. Sure be out and at ease with it, be honest if it comes up, but I see no reason to broadcast it. In fact doing that is a major turn off to me.
#5
I agree with what has been posted here.

If people ask fine if not its not the only thing that makes you a person you are more than just your sexuality. I am the same way actually my family knows and my boss even knows, which she has even tried to set me up before which a completely different story but, I don't believe in the bumper stickers and charms and screaming the pride either.

Don't let others stress you about your choices. They aren't paying your bills so if they don't like it then they can go back to their own little world. Cheers! Cool
#6
Couldn't have put it better myself Hank.

Being gay is such a small part of what makes me the unique person I am. I don't shy away from the subject if it is brought up, nor do I feel the need to hide in the closet. But I don't make my life revolve entirely around my sexuality either. I'll comment on guys I find attractive (Anderson Cooper being a personal crush for many a year now) but I don't wear it on my sleeve.

It has nothing to do with being ashamed of who I am either, far from it. Rather, I want to be remembered for more than who I sleep with. I am not just Chris the homosexual male....I am Chris the friend, Chris the nature-lover, Chris the goofy clown....I am all of these things, being gay is merely one aspect of the entire scheme.
#7
I take it, you dont show affection to your boyfriend in public? If your proud of who you are, than why shy a way from it? if people find out, big deal. yes people will hate, there will always be haters no matter what you do anyway.
#8
Genersis Wrote:That boyhood friend seems very... prejudiced.
Having pre-conceived ideas on bisexuals that, from how you put it, sounds like you weren't too keen on, and telling you how you should act.
But perhaps i'm just reading it as more forceful than it actually played out.

No, you don't have to be out to everybody, nor make it a priority to tell people you're bisexual.

You can if you want to; but all in all, it's just not necessary.
Its quite a common misconception that males cannot be bisexual, I get it from straight and gay guys alike, straight women too.

I think my friend said he was bi for a few years as a way to ease out of the closet. Nothing wrong with that, but just because he couldn't come bounding out straight to gay doesn't mean that's the case for every one.
#9
ivorybenz Wrote:I take it, you dont show affection to your boyfriend in public? If your proud of who you are, than why shy a way from it? if people find out, big deal. yes people will hate, there will always be haters no matter what you do anyway.

I don't currently have a boyfriend but when I did I did not hide affection. I held his hand kissed him same as I wouldthe girl I dated. I am not shy with affection at all. What others think of me has never been an issue.
#10
hank Wrote:I don't currently have a boyfriend but when I did I did not hide affection. I held his hand kissed him same as I wouldthe girl I dated. I am not shy with affection at all. What others think of me has never been an issue.

o ok... from what you had posted, I thought maybe you shied a way from affection from boyfriends cause you didnt want the world to know your bi... but showing affection to your boyfriends, isnt that like telling the world 'hey im gay or bi-sexual"? or am I getting it wrong?


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