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never noticed by other guys!
#1
hi! im new here. I have a problem thats been bothering me for some time now. Im not noticed by other gay guys, im comletly ignored!! i dont know why. well... im not very much into fashion that is, and i dont act too afeminate, so im not obviously gay i guess. im not too masculine either, but i dont really like acting "girly" it personally (no offense) turns me off. i like guys masculine, well thats for another thread i guess lol.
Well the thing is that it is really easy for me to get girls, girls often look at me and flirt, in the university it is so easy hooking up with hot girls and i have even tried but i just give up cause i dont feel anything.
Im not open about being gay, i have told no one around, well i just decided its going to be this way for now, and i dont feel bad about it though. and add that i am very shy i have no chance of meeting other guys Sad

so what do you guys suggest, do i have to be more gay wear like rainbow colors or something? is it that im ugly to other gay men? plizz help!!
#2
coco33 Wrote:hi! im new here. I have a problem thats been bothering me for some time now. Im not noticed by other gay guys, im comletly ignored!! i dont know why. well... im not very much into fashion that is, and i dont act too afeminate, so im not obviously gay i guess. im not too masculine either, but i dont really like acting "girly" it personally (no offense) turns me off. i like guys masculine, well thats for another thread i guess lol.
Well the thing is that it is really easy for me to get girls, girls often look at me and flirt, in the university it is so easy hooking up with hot girls and i have even tried but i just give up cause i dont feel anything.
Im not open about being gay, i have told no one around, well i just decided its going to be this way for now, and i dont feel bad about it though. and add that i am very shy i have no chance of meeting other guys Sad

so what do you guys suggest, do i have to be more gay wear like rainbow colors or something? is it that im ugly to other gay men? plizz help!!

Hi there, i have the same "problem" but i don't mind and u know why? Because i get to choose them Big Grin i mean i wouldn't like to be picked up or be noticed beacause i like to notice them Smile trust me u are not ugly at all and i'm saying that not even knowing how u look, i'm sure u are a goodlooking guy. I have the same thing with girls 2 they are very atractive towards me, my advice is not to start not being yrself wearing who know what and acting in a certain way, i say be yrself be confident with yr looks and if u see somebody thar u like give them a clue like a wink or a smyle or even a hi theee wassup Smile u shall see it all works out Smile
#3
Just a thought, perhaps some guys do notice you but think you are straight? Perhaps they would rather not flirt with someone just on the off chance that they might be straight?

If you want to remain in the closet for now, but still want guys to know you are gay, then all I can suggest is frequenting gay venues where your friends and neighbours won't be there (both real-life and internet venues).
Fred

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
#4
Go where the boys are Wink

I was in a café last night. A friend of mine was launching his new cd. It was being filmed and it just so happened that one of the film crew was rather good looking, very charming and sent the gaydar right off the scale for both me and for a bi friend (so much so that his wife turned to us both and jokingly said, "Down boys!") with whom I was sitting :eek:

That did not stop the attention of other women, and especially of the one who set about trying to set him up with a date for her twenty-something daughter! My friend and I watched with interest as we saw him trying to get out of it. Oh we know how to have fun in East Anglia Wink
#5
fredv3b Wrote:Just a thought, perhaps some guys do notice you but think you are straight? Perhaps they would rather not flirt with someone just on the off chance that they might be straight?

If you want to remain in the closet for now, but still want guys to know you are gay, then all I can suggest is frequenting gay venues where your friends and neighbours won't be there (both real-life and internet venues).

I agree with Fred. I think some guys do eye on you but they do not dare to take further action as they think you are straight. You don't need to wear pink or rainbow t-shirt to tell the world that you are gay. Just visit gay friendly venues like Fred and Marshlander suggested.
#6
Funny thing is, a lot of gay guys are almost scared to approach what they see as being a 100% straight guy.

In my mind (and other peoples) you are in a position where they assume you will reject them or even worse, homophobia still exists sadly. Unless you show your intentions a lot of gay guys will assume you're straight and leave you well alone; I'd actually say it's quite a good physical quality, I would love to be more masculine in some respects!

What I'm saying is that you're the one in control here. It sounds like you're throwing out a lot of straight vibes and making gay guys think "I've got no chance, or he'll probably just kick my ass and tell me where to go". Such are perceptions.

So don't change yourself, just pursue what you want. Gay guys LOVE straight guys, it's probably one of the biggest vanilla kinks.

You should have no problems if you're confident about yourself and what you want and actively pursue it.
#7
coco33 Wrote:hi! im new here. I have a problem thats been bothering me for some time now. Im not noticed by other gay guys, im comletly ignored!! i dont know why. well... im not very much into fashion that is, and i dont act too afeminate, so im not obviously gay i guess. im not too masculine either, but i dont really like acting "girly" it personally (no offense) turns me off. i like guys masculine, well thats for another thread i guess lol.
Well the thing is that it is really easy for me to get girls, girls often look at me and flirt, in the university it is so easy hooking up with hot girls and i have even tried but i just give up cause i dont feel anything.
Im not open about being gay, i have told no one around, well i just decided its going to be this way for now, and i dont feel bad about it though. and add that i am very shy i have no chance of meeting other guys Sad

so what do you guys suggest, do i have to be more gay wear like rainbow colors or something? is it that im ugly to other gay men? plizz help!!


Hello and Welcome to GaySpeak.

First of all, this may have something to do with where you live, Puerto Rico... Maybe people see gays as more flamboyant, which you say you aren't.

You can get girls, lots of them; I think that's the appeal of shyness for them. Men, I think, can be attracted to shyness, but might be more attracted to a certain confidence. So maybe it'll take a slight change in boldness and attitude. Maybe you could wear a sign that would give out a little signal. I don't know, a fancy hat, or a badge for a cause, or something, something that would make you noticeable in some way.

Maybe ask some of the girls you know what clothes make you look sexy? That might be another clue.

As for gays loving straights, as Sil says, I'm not sure that that's the case at all. I think they love the idea of a straight manly male, but in their heart of hearts they'd far rather go with someone who they know will enjoy what the gay life has to offer... and not cringe from it all. So basically it is about confidence and attitude.

You might try just talking to these people you are interested in and show curiosity about what interests them. Just go up, introduce yourself, and ask a few questions. It'll get the ball rolling. Maybe ask them out for a cup of coffee or invite them around to your place or dorm, or whatever it is you drink in Puerto Rico as a social thing.

Try not to look desperate.

Or else, you can always join a group that has a special interest in something, like a book club, or a movie club or a dance class, or art class, or drama class, or even a charity. You're bound to meet someone eventually with whom you have something in common to share.
#8
fredv3b Wrote:Just a thought, perhaps some guys do notice you but think you are straight? Perhaps they would rather not flirt with someone just on the off chance that they might be straight?

If you want to remain in the closet for now, but still want guys to know you are gay, then all I can suggest is frequenting gay venues where your friends and neighbours won't be there (both real-life and internet venues).

actually my university is pretty far from my home, and its so big i will probably never meet same random person again.

sorry for my ignorance but... whats gay venues?
#9
I think Fred was referring to gay discos, gay pubs, probably something that doesn exit in Puerto Rico in the same way as we find them in Britain and Europe or America... Other gay venues might include certain types of classes, as I mentioned before, and maybe certain sports?
#10
princealbertofb Wrote:Hello and Welcome to GaySpeak.

First of all, this may have something to do with where you live, Puerto Rico... Maybe people see gays as more flamboyant, which you say you aren't.

You can get girls, lots of them; I think that's the appeal of shyness for them. Men, I think, can be attracted to shyness, but might be more attracted to a certain confidence. So maybe it'll take a slight change in boldness and attitude. Maybe you could wear a sign that would give out a little signal. I don't know, a fancy hat, or a badge for a cause, or something, something that would make you noticeable in some way.

Maybe ask some of the girls you know what clothes make you look sexy? That might be another clue.

As for gays loving straights, as Sil says, I'm not sure that that's the case at all. I think they love the idea of a straight manly male, but in their heart of hearts they'd far rather go with someone who they know will enjoy what the gay life has to offer... and not cringe from it all. So basically it is about confidence and attitude.

You might try just talking to these people you are interested in and show curiosity about what interests them. Just go up, introduce yourself, and ask a few questions. It'll get the ball rolling. Maybe ask them out for a cup of coffee or invite them around to your place or dorm, or whatever it is you drink in Puerto Rico as a social thing.

Try not to look desperate.

Or else, you can always join a group that has a special interest in something, like a book club, or a movie club or a dance class, or art class, or drama class, or even a charity. You're bound to meet someone eventually with whom you have something in common to share.

YESS thats exactly it!! here theres no single gay like me, they all are "flamboyant" as you say, its just like evrey gay has to be into fashion, like lady gaga and tecno, know how to dance proffesional ughh i cant stand it!!


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