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when a best friend gets a girlfriend
#1
I'm going through a really depressive patch at the moment because of family things, exam stress, coursework stress, unknowing of what i am to do after college and the possible loss of a best friend.
My best friend got a GF about 4 months ago and after that he has been ever so clingy with her his world revolves around them and no one else. I understand that this goes on for the first few days that someone goes out but this has lasted like 6 months. He usually lives at his home with his disabled mum, who he has to care for, unemployed dad and very hyperactive twin brother. Usually he would have to care for his mother because she is disabled but since this relationship has been going on he hardly cares about her anymore and sometimes doesn't even go home. He seems to have a split personality though. When hes with his girl hes far up her arse (clingy) and tries to avoid me whenever possible. However when she is not available like she is working he is really friendly just like the time before he went out with this girl and caring for his mother. I'm not very popular, have about 5 friends and 20 acquaintances.
so many times he has walked over me and lied to me. I don't have many friends which is the reason why I'm not really doing much about this.

So guys what should i do? tell him hes a complete dick (have tried this before and he comes up with a load of shit about how I'm ever so pathetic)
Or move on? Don't know what to doCry
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#2
There is a saying in my work "Mag to Grid" and i encourage yo to do as the saying says!!

I wouldn't even class him as an acquaintance!!

( Oh maybe should explain it When map reading and you are calculating bearings when calculating the adjustment for the Grid Magnetic Angle ..... long story short MAG TO GRID = GET RID ( urban Dictionary for you Urban Dictionary: Mag to Grid ))
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#3
I think your friend's behaviour is fairly typical of someone who is in love. Give him time - these things commonly last 2 years! In the meantime you might want to demote him to 2nd best friend. But if you feel that you need all the friends you can get I would still be a friend to him, unless he has some other nasty habits you've not told us about.
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#4
Peter's advice is spot on. Your best mate has discovered the love of a partner and you want to deny him that? Hard as it may be for you, be happy for him and don't try to make him feel guilty because his priorities are undergoing reallignment.
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#5
its life m8, its amazing how people can change when women are involved, he will prob be around more when she stops giving him some loving once the relationship has got past the fun stage
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#6
you will be the same when you find that special someone. let him be in love and enjoy his girlfriend. he still values you as a friend im sure
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#7
Dude, what is the investment there? Because he does not sound like a good person--he neglects his disabled Mom!!! Are you sexually attracted to him?

Let him go, life is more easy when you have no one repressing and using you!!! He may be a GREAT friend in your obscured definition of a friend; but you being here now seeking advice, is saying, 'I am tired, and becoming aware to the dick, my "friend" is'.
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#8
this exact thing happened to me a couple years ago. my best friend started getting really serious with this girl we always hung out with and we stopped hanging out fer like 8 months and after that we werent as close of friends anymore. he broke up w her after 6 months. now we only talk once in a while.
it was definately a really shitty feeling that lasted months.
but, you need to start caring about urself and taking care of you. you know? DO YOU. and let him do him. theres a lot of freedom in that. dont change for anyone. develop your own self into who you want to be.
sorry this was so long. but YOU GOT IT MAN. YOULL BE FINE
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#9
The best thing you can do is let him get on with it. There's loads of people who get girlfriends/boyfriends and ditch their friends. My brother is a classic example as at one point he had about 30 friends, nowadays they don't call him or ever see him because he shut himself off and only hangs with his girlfriend.
If he isn't making the effort to maintain a friendship with you, don't make an effort back. He'll either miss you and realise he needs to balance his life, girlfriend and friends fairly or he won't miss you, you guys will go your own ways and that just proves he wasn't a genuine friend after all.

Smile
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#10
if you are truly honest with your feelings, i think you'll find you don't want to force anything from him. he'll come around if it's meant to be.
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