- I rarely have much of a reaction when someone famous dies but this one is different. Olympia Dukakis played maybe my favorite character ever - Anna Madrigal in Tales of the City which is a Gay themed miniseries (I watched it maybe 100 times)



All of the characters were based on real residents of San Francisco.  They captured the city and the time period perfectly - I know as I was there and grew up less than an hour from San Francisco so I know the city and the vibe and time period well - and this series and Olympia Dukakis captured it perfectly. 

I really loved her - the actress and the character she played - I will miss her - RIP Olympia (and Anna)

Coming out earlier in life is a double-edged sword, experts say.

Suicide rates among young people have been on the rise in recent years, according to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, but gay and bisexual youths are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide as their straight peers.

And, despite advances in the fight for LGBTQ equality, a new report finds that young gay people today are even more likely to have attempted suicide than in previous generations.

Researchers at the Williams Institute, a sexual orientation and gender identity think tank at UCLA School of Law, found that 30 percent of lesbian, gay and bisexual respondents ages 18 to 25 reported at least one suicide attempt, compared to 24 percent of those 34-41 and 21 percent of those 52-59.

The study, published last month in the journal PLOS One, also revealed that these young adults are experiencing higher levels of victimization, psychological distress and internalized homophobia than older generations.

"We had really expected it would be better for the younger group," said lead author Ilan H. Meyer, a distinguished senior scholar of public policy at the institute. "But at the same time, we knew data from other studies has shown LGB youth do a lot worse than straight youth — and not much better now than in earlier times."

Meyer and his colleagues surveyed 1,518 respondents who identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual (trans people were included in a separate study). Participants were divided into three cohorts: the "Pride" generation, those born from 1956 to 1963; the "Visibility" generation, born from 1974 to 1981; and the "Equality" generation, born from 1990 to 1997.

Using the Kessler Scale, a clinical measure of psychological distress, they found that members of the Equality generation reported almost twice as many symptoms of anxiety and depression as the Pride generation. Many factors influenced the data, Meyer said, including the fact that people are coming out younger than ever.

"That can be a positive, of course," he said. "But it can also backfire and expose you to a lot of harassment and victimization. You might not be prepared for the consequences."

Members of the Equality generation reported coming out to a family member at age 16 on average, compared to 22 for the Visibility generation and 26 for the Pride generation.

That can put them at risk of rejection at a time when they rely most on family for emotional and financial support, said Amy Green, vice president of research for The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth crisis intervention and suicide prevention organization.

According to a survey by the organization last year, 40 percent of LGBTQ youths ages 13 to 24 had seriously considered attempting suicide in the previous 12 months.

"It's not that the world isn't making progress for LGBTQ people, it's that recent progress has resulted in an amazing community of young people who understand who they are but still live in a world where others may be unkind to them, reject them, bully them or discriminate against them," Green said in an email. "And we know these experiences of victimization can compound and produce negative mental health outcomes."

The advent of social media and the internet has also greatly affected the Equality generation's sense of identity.

"When we asked them about other people in the community, the younger group's answers were always — always — about social media, not about real-life encounters," Meyer said. "People are very cruel online, whether it's Twitter or Grindr."

Meyer said that before he examined interviews accompanying the survey, he expected to hear people in their teens and 20s present "a different way of being gay."

"But one of the first narratives I listened to was from an 18-year-old Latino from San Francisco, and his narrative was the same as we've heard for generations — homophobia, exclusion, shame. The evolution [in LGBTQ rights] hadn't impacted his life as much as you'd expect."

Members of the Equality generation reported more anti-LGBTQ victimization than their older counterparts, Meyer said. Nearly 3 out of 4 (72 percent) said they had been verbally insulted about their identity, and almost half (46 percent) said they had been threatened with violence. More than a third (37 percent) reported having been physically attacked or sexually assaulted.

"I believe in the power of institutions and social structures changing. I really do," Meyer said. "But I think real progress takes longer than we think. Just because we're seeing change doesn't mean every gay kid's parents are accepting or that their friends are embracing them."

There were some silver linings: Of the three groups, members of the Equality generation most reported feeling connected to the LGBTQ community.

"That was actually surprising, because we hear so much about people feeling like they don't belong," Meyer said. "But this suggests there is still pride, despite the difficulties and negativity, sometimes even from within our own community."

Coming out younger has also given them more resiliency, he added. 

"Coming out earlier gives you a great start on life, even if you face hardships," he said. "This generation is already out when they get to college. They have a better sense of who they are. Older generations had to wait longer to live their authentic lives."

If you are an LGBTQ young person in crisis, feeling suicidal or in need of a safe and judgment-free place to talk, call the TrevorLifeline now at 1-866-488-7386. (USA)

If you're in the UK you can call the LGBT+ Switchboard Helpline 0300 330 0630 10am-10pm every day.

A few days ago a terrible hate crime happened in my country. Unfortunately, there are no news articles in English that I could find, but basically, a gay man had flammable liquid poured over him and set on fire. He has almost 100% body burns and is currently in the ICU, fighting for his life. His boyfriend who tried to put the fire out also got severe burns and is also in the hospital. This happened after several threats of killing them were made to the couple that police refused to investigate as they saw no reason to do so. Now they have started an investigation, but it's going way too slow. 

Please, take a moment to pray for the recovery of these young men who haven't done anything wrong other than being together.

"Not much is going to be left to the imagination apparently."

Singer Harry Styles has made a name for himself for being extremely comfortable in his skin. It looks like, if reports are to believed, that's all he'll be in for some scenes in the upcoming film My Policeman.

According to an insider, Styles will have two sex scenes with David Dawson, his onscreen lover in the project. The singer is also set to have one nude scene on his own.

"Not much is going to be left to the imagination," the source told The Sun. “Harry is throwing himself into this new role and is really excited about the challenge, even though it’s a daunting task."

My Policeman is based on a 2012 novel set in 1950s Britain. The story revolves around the policeman Tom Burgess, who is played by Styles. While Burgess marries a school teacher in Marion, who is played by Emma Corrin, he has a male lover, who is Patrick played by Dawson. According to reports, Marion tried to get Patrick arrested as homosexuality was illegal at the time.

Styles has famously declined on specifying his sexuality. Some fans have taken his status as an ally, his openness, and other visual cues in his projects as a tacit admission that he is queer but this has not been confirmed by the artist himself.

The older version of Tom will be portrayed, in the film, by Linus Roache. Roache is not known to be gay but gained widespread recognition playing a gay Roman Catholic priest in the 1994 film Priest. The older Patrick will be played by Rupert Everett who came out in 1989. In an interview in 2010, he said that he didn't get booked in Hollywood after coming out so he moved to Europe.

According to the poll, 1 in 6 (15%) adult members of Gen Z self-identify as LGBT.

NEW YORK -- A newly released poll shows that 5.6% of American adults now identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

The analytics firm Gallup reported that their current estimate of self-identified gay and trans Americans is up from 4.5%, based on their previous 2017 data.

More than half of LGBT adults (54.6%) identify as bisexual. About a quarter (24.5%) say they are gay, with 11.7% identifying as lesbian and 11.3% as transgender. An additional 3.3% volunteer another non-heterosexual preference or term to describe their sexual orientation, such as queer or same-gender-loving.

The poll, released Wednesday, found that younger generations are far more likely to identify as LGBT, especially Gen Z. One in six adult Gen Z-ers (ages 18 to 23 in 2020) do not consider themselves to be heterosexual.

This percentage decreases with age, with 2% or fewer Americans born before 1965 identifying as LGBT, according to Gallup.

Gallup noted that it cannot determine whether the generational differences reflect a true shift in American sexual orientation or if more younger people are willing to identify as gay, trans or other in a country that's increasingly more accepting of LGBTQ+ rights.

Conversely, Gallup acknowledged that the poll cannot represent the population of non-heterosexual adults who do not want to acknowledge an LGBT orientation.

Along with a generational divide, gender differences are seen in self-reported sexual identity. Women are more likely than men (6.4% to 4.9%) to identify as LGBT, and the majority who do call themselves bisexual (4.3%). Among non-heterosexual men, the majority identify as gay (2.5%).

"This poll confirms what we have long known -- that the LGBTQ community is powerful and a growing force in the United States, and around the world," said Alphonso David, president of the Human Rights Campaign. "Young adults, in particular, feel empowered to publicly claim their identities -- a compelling finding and validation for the past generations of LGBTQ advocates who have long fought for full equality."

The polling is based on 15,000 interviews conducted throughout 2020 with Americans aged 18 and older.

Interesting to compare what it is like today

I enjoy studying all aspects of short film production.
Watching this one today prompted a share for Gay Speak. There is another thread just for Gay Short Film so this first post here will touch a favorite topic for me, that being "learned racism versus inherent and forgiving mutuality." The artistry in this example is complex and so very well simplified in a mere smile.

It goes without saying that international travel is challenging these days. But gay travellers face the added complexity of navigating a myriad of LGBTQ+ laws around the world. Depending on where they’re headed, travel can still be considerably dangerous—even in 2021. And although there have been some improvements over recent years, more than 70 countries still have homophobic laws, according to Equaldex.

Journalists Lyric and Asher Fergusson run a travel safety blog and recently authored an up-to-date report on the most dangerous—and safest—places for LGBTQ+ travellers based on nine factors, like legalized same-sex marriage and protections against discrimination. After 250+ hours of research, the duo reviewed all countries’ individual laws and gathered data from trusted international sources to create an LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index that reflects the most current information in an ever-evolving world.

Since the Fergussons’ study on the most dangerous places for gay travellers in 2019, several laws have changed—some for the better (Sudan), and some for the worse (Hungary, Poland). “LGBTQ+ rights are still at the forefront of our awareness and we plan to continue keeping this study up to date to help the LGBTQ+ community stay safe and navigate international travel,” says Lyric Fergusson.


A new report details the most dangerous—and safest—places for gay travellers.

The journalists have noticed the Covid-19 pandemic negatively affect gay rights around the world. In 2020, Hungary ended the legal recognition of transgender and intersex people, and, according to Human Rights Watch, “It comes at a time when the government has used the Covid-19 pandemic as a pretext to grab unlimited power and is using parliament to rubber-stamp problematic non-public health-related bills, like this one.”

For the Fergussons, LGBTQ+ rights are top of mind, even amidst a pandemic. “LGBTQ+ rights are still at the forefront of our awareness, and we plan to continue keeping this study up to date to help the LGBTQ+ community stay safe and navigate international travel,” says Lyric Fergusson.

The most surprising revelation from this year’s study? The continued level of violent persecution of the LGBTQ+ community around the world. “Of the ‘least safe’ countries on our list, the top 49 still have prison sentences as punishment for being gay,” says Fergusson. The two countries topping the “most dangerous” list—Nigeria and Saudi Arabi—still utilize the death penalty as a possible punishment for being LGBTQ+, while lesser punishments can include lashings, flogging or life in prison. “It’s just so hard to believe we live in a world where we can treat our fellow human beings so poorly just for who they love or for what gender they identify with.”


On the beach in Miami. While the U.S. is gay friendly in many ways, there are issues.

Even here in the United States, there are some major legal shortcomings for LGBTQ+ rights. Some states (such as Texas) have made it illegal to play on a sports team or use a bathroom of your choice. Other states have made it illegal to exhibit advocacy for homosexuality in schools. It might surprise many travelers that the United States places 20th on the study’s list of the safest countries to visit. The wide variation in gay rights depending on the state you’re in certainly contributed to the United States’ low ranking of safest countries. There are also no constitutional or broad protections for LGBTQ+ rights under federal law in the U.S.

So is there any good news? “After our last study was published, there was a public outcry in many countries demanding that these inhumane laws be changed. Destinations that rely heavily on tourism continue to feel the heat as the LGBTQ+ community avoids countries like Jamaica for their conservative views. We hope that our 2021 study can add to the momentum for equality that is tangibly forming worldwide,” says Fergusson.

Read on for the 20 most dangerous places in the LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index, plus commentary from the coauthors of the study. Following this list are the five safest destinations for LGBTQ+ travelers. See the entire world rankings and important safety tips here.


The Lekki-Ikoyi bridge in Nigeria—the most dangerous place for gay travellers.

The 20 Most Dangerous Places for LGBTQ+ Travelers in 2021

1. Nigeria
“Both in our 2019 study and now in the 2021 update, Nigeria has ranked as the number one most dangerous country for members of the LGBTQ+ community,” says Fergusson. “It was ranked so poorly largely due to the extreme penalties for simply being gay, which include up to 14 years in prison and the death penalty in states under Sharia law. The mere discussion of LGBT rights is criminalized via the current system. Under Nigeria’s Same-Sex Marriage (Prohibition) Act of 2013, the country has seen an increase in violence and extortion against the LGBTQ+ community. Furthermore, Nigeria criminalizes transgender and gender-nonconforming people in its northern states under Sharia.”

2. Saudi Arabia
“Coming in as the second-worst country for LGBTQ+ travel is Saudi Arabia. This Middle Eastern kingdom is another on our list which can implement the death penalty for consensual homosexuality under their interpretation of Sharia law,” says Fergusson. “Other punishments include 100 whips or banishment for one year. “Men behaving as women” or wearing women’s clothes, and vice versa, is also illegal in Saudi Arabia, making this a particularly unfriendly country for members of the trans community.”

3. Malaysia
“This phenomenal Southeast Asian country is full of gorgeous beaches, islands, and UNESCO World Heritage Sites, making Malaysia a popular destination for international tourism. Unfortunately, imposed punishment for homosexuality is severe and the existence of gay people in Malaysia was denied by their tourism minister as recently as March 2019,” says Fergusson. “Under state interpretation of Sharia law, homosexuality in Malaysia results in up to 20 years in prison, whipping, and fines. And there are even recent proposals by the government to increase the penalties against the LGBTQ+ community. This makes Malaysia the least safe Asian country for queer and trans tourists.”

4. Malawi
“The punishments for homosexuality in Malawi have earned this African country as the number four worst country for LGBTQ+ travellers,” says Fergusson. “Same-sex acts result in 14 years in prison for men and five years imprisonment for women. Additionally, any male whose hair is longer than down to his mouth can receive up to six months in prison. Pro-LGBTQ+ organizations are banned by the government in Malawi and general public sentiment regards homosexuality as off-limits. Only 3% of Malawians said their city is a good place for gay and lesbian people when asked by the Gallup World Poll.”

5. Oman
“Oman is known for its incredible mosques and unique terraced landscapes, but its treatment of the LGBTQ+ community has placed it in the fifth worst spot on our list,” says Fergusson. “Homosexual acts in this country will lead to up to three years in prison. For simply imitating the opposite sex, you can be thrown into jail for up to one year. And all pro-LGBTQ+ organizations are banned from the country.”

6. Jamaica
“One of the Caribbean’s most popular vacation destinations for tourists worldwide, Jamaica was another shocking country to top our LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index,” says Fergusson. “Jamaica ranks as the worst Caribbean nation for members of the LGBTQ+ community. This is largely due to Jamaica’s ‘buggery law,’ which is leftover from the colonial era, allows for a sentence of up to ten years in prison, including hard labour. In fact, Jamaica was called the most homophobic place on Earth by Time magazine in 2006 and LGBTQ+ people are sadly still the victims of homophobic violence today. Transgender individuals in Jamaica (especially male-to-female trans women) also face an exceptionally low tolerance from society at large.”

7. Myanmar
“Myanmar is a beautiful country filled with amazing Buddhist temples and pristine beaches but it’s also unfortunately not a safe destination for the LGBTQ+ community,” says Fergusson. “Transgender people (especially trans women) are commonly mistreated, raped, exhorted, and arbitrarily arrested by police. Homosexual acts, which their laws refer to as ‘carnal intercourse against the order of nature,’ are subject to 20 years in prison.”

8. Qatar
“Coming in eighth on our LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index is Qatar,” says Fergusson. “This oil-rich Middle Eastern country enforces up to three years in prison, flogging, and the death penalty under Sharia law for any acts of homosexuality. Tourism to Qatar is expected to skyrocket for the 2022 World Cup, which is to take place there. After much pushback, the Qatari government has recently changed its stance to say it would comply with FIFA rules promoting tolerance and inclusion at matches despite the country's strict anti-LGBTQ+ laws.”


The United Arab Emirates is one of the most dangerous places for gay travellers.

9. United Arab Emirates
“The UAE is most famous for its two largest cities, Dubai and Abu Dhabi, which attract millions of visitors each year. This popular tourist destination comes in as the ninth worst place to visit as an LGBTQ+ visitor,” says Fergusson. “If a male even wears ‘female apparel’ they can face up to one year in prison and a fine of up to 10,000 dirhams (approximately $2,723). According to the Gallup World Poll, only 1% of respondents felt their city was a good place to live for gay and lesbian people.”

10. Yemen
“In Yemen, the punishment for being gay for both men and women is prison time and 100 lashes, with death by stoning for married men,” says Fergusson. “This conservative Muslim republic means business when it comes to rejecting homosexuality, both in its laws and general public sentiment. Refugee Legal Aid Information highlights Yemen’s hostile attitudes toward their largely underground LGBT community.”

11. Zambia
“Home of the magnificent Victoria Falls, renowned as the largest waterfall in the world, and incredible wildlife, Zambia is filled with plenty to explore. That said, the LGBTQ+ community is marginalized in this country and there are heavy consequences for being gay, which include seven years to life in prison for any same-sex act,” says Fergusson. “One possible sign of positive changes in the country is that the president recently pardoned a gay couple who were sentenced to a 15-year prison term.”

12. Tanzania
“This East African country is known for its remarkable natural attractions, including Mt. Kilimanjaro and the Serengeti National Park, making Tanzania a massive hub for international tourism,” says Fergusson. “Unfortunately, this country was ranked at number 12 on our LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index, which may inspire LGBTQ+ visitors to rethink their travel plans. In Tanzania, any homosexual acts result in 30 years to life in prison, and there has been a recent government crackdown on LGBT activity within the country.”

13. Sudan
“This African nation made some good progress in 2020 by abolishing the death penalty for same-sex relationships. They do, however, still have up to five years in prison as a penalty for being gay,” says Fergusson. “Publicly, homosexuality is a taboo topic, so LGBTQ+ travellers choosing to visit Sudan should proceed with caution and remain discreet with regards to their sexuality. It is also recommended to be extremely careful when inviting guests into your hotel room, as this can potentially spark unwanted complications.”

14. West Bank & Gaza
“In the Palestinian territories of Gaza and the West Bank, the anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment is taken very seriously, with homosexual acts resulting in up to ten years in prison,” says Fergusson. “Groups advocating for LGBTQ+ rights are threatened by the governing authorities in Palestine, who consider homosexuality to be ‘a blow to, and violation of, the ideals and values of Palestinian society.’”

15. Iran
“Iran made number 15 on the index, due in part to its extreme punishments for homosexuality, which include 100 lashes for intercourse or the death penalty, and 31 lashes for same-sex acts other than intercourse,” says Fergusson. “One positive situation in Iran is that they do allow for transgender legal identity changes via sex reassignment surgery. Interestingly, Iran carries out more sex reassignment surgeries than any other country in the world after Thailand.”


Sunset captured from Naguru in Kampala Uganda—one of the most dangerous countries for LGBTQ+ travellers.

16. Uganda
“One of Africa’s most populous countries, Uganda ranks equal 16th on our LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index,” says Fergusson. “Homosexual intercourse results in life in prison and pro-LGBTQ+ organizations are banned throughout the country. Unfortunately, things may soon be getting even worse for the LGBTQ+ community, as the Ugandan president has recently been ramping up the anti-gay rhetoric to help win votes in an upcoming election.”

17. Maldives
“Famed as a popular romantic vacation destination for LGBTQ+ travellers, it comes as a significant wake-up call that the Maldives bears such anti-LGBTQ+ laws,” says Fergusson. “Earning the equal 16th spot, the Maldives punishes homosexual acts and intercourse with up to eight years in prison or 100 lashes. Though these laws are enforced in the cities, they are largely ignored at the resorts. For more adventurous travellers, regardless of orientation, be wary of the local customs and avoid any public displays of affection in the Maldivian cities.”

18. Morocco
“An enchanting destination, packed with beaches and incredible architecture, Morocco ranks as the equal 18th worst on our travel safety index,” says Fergusson. “Homosexual or “unnatural” acts can lead to six months to three years in prison, plus additional fines. Although affection is often freely shown among Moroccan men it is recommended that LGBTQ travellers use discretion particularly if using social media dating apps since meetups have led to assault and robbery in recent years.”

19. Egypt
“Famous throughout the world for its ancient pyramids and historical and religious significance, Egypt is a massive tourist destination for global travellers. Unfortunately, Egypt ranked equal 18th on our list due to its negative laws regarding homosexuality,” says Fergusson. “Same-sex acts result in up to three years in prison with a fine, and possession of homosexual materials results in up to two years in prison with a fine. For LGBTQ+ travellers, it is recommended not to disclose your sexuality and avoid using dating apps since the local police have been known to create fake accounts to “catch” LGBTQ+ travellers looking to engage in illegal activity.”

20. Algeria
“This North African nation ranks as the equal 18th worst on our LGBTQ Travel Safety Index. Homosexual acts result in two months to two years in prison, plus a fine,” says Fergusson. “Simply being in possession of “homosexual materials” can subject you to up to 2 years in prison. As a tourist, you likely won’t be subjected to these laws, but you're advised to be cautious. Dressing in clothing of the opposite sex is prohibited by law, and the general social attitude towards the LGBTQ+ community is openly negative and sometimes violent.”


A rainbow pathway in Montreal, Canada—the safest place for gay travellers.


The 5 Safest Places for LGBTQ+ Travelers in 2021

1 . Canada
“Coming in first place as the safest country for LGBTQ+ travel in this year’s update is Canada,” says Fergusson. “Known for its kind locals and chilly winters, Canada has constitutional protections in place to guard the LGBTQ+ community against violence and discrimination, and same-sex marriage has been legal since 2005. Most recently in 2020, Canada has made the positive move to criminalize LGBTQ+ 'conversion therapy.’”

2. The Netherlands
“The Netherlands was the first place in the world to legalize same-sex marriage almost 20 years ago in 2001,” says Fergusson. “This alluring country renowned for its tulip fields, windmills, cheese markets, and canals has achieved an equal second spot in the 2021 LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index. The Netherlands also ranked number one in the latest Gallup Poll with 92% of respondents saying that the city or area where they live is a good place for gay and lesbian people.”

3. Sweden
“Sweden’s friendly attitudes and positive legislation towards the LGBTQ+ community have earned it the title of equal second. Scandinavia is generally known for its friendly people and liberal attitudes towards equality for all,” says Fergusson. “Sweden legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 and performed well on all our nine ranking factors. This land of the Northern Lights has also been a regular host of Europride and has more Pride festivals per-capita than anywhere else in the world with over 30 different Pride celebrations throughout the country each year.”

4. Malta
“This tiny archipelago sandwiched in the Mediterranean between Sicily and the North African coast comes in fourth in regards to LGBTQ+ travel safety,” says Fergusson. “Malta has been rising in acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals for decades and its legislations make it one of the most LGBTQ+ travel-friendly countries in both Europe and the world. Who wouldn’t want to honeymoon or vacation on this paradisal island?”

5. Portugal
“With legalized same-sex marriage since 2010 and numerous legal protections for the LGBTQ+ community, Portugal placed fifth on our list,” says Fergusson. “Cities like Lisbon and Porto have the best gay scenes in the country and Portugal came in second place in its bid to host the 2022 Europride which is the biggest event celebrating gay pride in Europe.”

Pete, Kevin and Danny in 2001

Danny Stewart was rushing to meet his boyfriend for dinner when he ran past something lying on the floor of a New York subway station. Soon he would treasure it more than anything else in the world.

It was around eight o'clock on 28 August 2000, just past the frenzy of the New York rush hour when a subway train rattled down the track into 14th Street station, in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. Danny Stewart, 34, was late for dinner with his partner, Pete Mercurio, 32.

The couple had met three years earlier through a friend in Pete's softball team. Later Danny had moved in with Pete and his flatmate, but on this summer evening he had been back to his sublet apartment in Harlem to pick up the post.

As Danny was hurrying out of the station something caught his eye.

"I noticed on the floor tucked up against the wall, what I thought was a baby doll," he says.

He was puzzled - why would a child leave a doll on the ground? - but he continued up the stairs to the exit.

"I glanced back one more time, and that's when I noticed his legs moved."

He ran back down the stairs and realised that the doll was in fact a baby boy, wrapped in a dark sweatshirt, with his tiny legs sticking out.

"He didn't have any clothes on, he was just wrapped up in this sweatshirt. His umbilical cord was still partially intact, so I could tell he was a newborn. I was thinking maybe a day or so old," he says.


The 14th Street subway station in the Chelsea district of Manhattan

Danny could hardly believe what he was seeing. He couldn't understand how a baby had been left on the floor, or who could have left it.

The little boy was very quiet, and yet also alert, with big, wide eyes.

"He did look up and I stroked his head and then he whimpered a little bit. It seemed really unreal, the whole situation, and at that point I was trying to alert people to what was happening, but I couldn't get anybody's attention."

Danny yelled out, "Please, call the police," but almost everyone ignored him.

"I did get the attention of one woman, but she didn't speak English, so she didn't really understand what I was saying, even when I was trying to point to the baby," Danny says. "I think she probably thought I may have been a little deranged."

This was before the time when everyone had a mobile phone and Danny was afraid to pick up the baby in case he was hurt. So Danny ran up the stairs to the street to a payphone and called 911.

"I found a baby," he blurted out. Then he told the police where he was located and ran back to check the baby was still OK. He waited for what seemed like ages.

"I'm sure it was just a few minutes, but time was standing still as my heart was racing," he says. "I thought, well they probably think this is a prank call and they're probably not believing me, so somebody else needs to call, and that's when I thought of Pete."

Grabbing a quarter out of his pocket he ran back to the payphone to call him.

"Once again, I blurted out, 'I found a baby. I don't think the police believe me so call them please right now.'"

Pete, who had been pacing up and down, looking out of his apartment window waiting for Danny, says the hair on the back of his neck stood up.

"Because Danny doesn't joke, he wouldn't say something if it wasn't true," he says.



He bolted out of the apartment to the subway station, arriving as the police were carrying the baby away to be taken for a check-up at the hospital. After Danny had given his statement, the two of them left.

"I remember turning to Danny and saying to him on the sidewalk as the police car was driving away, 'You know, you're going to be connected to that baby in some way for the rest of your life,'" says Pete.

"Danny was like, 'What do you mean?' I said, 'Well, eventually, this child is going to learn of the night he was found and he may want to find the person who discovered him. Maybe there's a way that we can find out where he ends up and send a birthday gift every year on this date?'"

The next day, news of the baby found on the subway was all over the headlines.

"Danny Stewart was the Good Samaritan that found the seven-pound baby," said one reporter, as Danny was interviewed for TV news.

"The baby is Hispanic with patches of brown hair on the top of his head," said another.

Danny wanted to find out how the baby was, and so went to the hospital where he had been taken, but was unable to get any news.

So Danny and Pete returned to their daily lives - Danny to his role as a social worker and Pete as a playwright and web designer.

But before too long Danny received an invitation from the Administration for Children's Services to attend a family court hearing, to testify how he had found the baby. When this took place, in December 2000, the judge asked Danny if he could stay for the entire hearing. He waited for the police to give their testimony, and then the judge addressed Danny again.

"She says, 'Mr Stewart, I want to let you know what's happening here, in instances where we have a baby that has been abandoned, we want to place them in pre-adoptive foster care as quickly as possible.'

"In my head, I'm thinking, 'Well that makes sense,'" says Danny. "And then the next thing out of her mouth was, 'Would you be interested in adopting this baby?'"

Danny looked around, all eyes were on him.

"I think most of the mouths dropped in the courtroom, including mine. I said, 'Yes, but I don't think it's that easy,' and the judge smiled and she said, 'Well, it can be.'"

Although the judge's question had come completely out of the blue, friends and acquaintances had already queried why Danny and Pete had not taken the baby boy home to take care of the night he was found. You didn't need to be a social worker, as Danny was, to realise that this wasn't how things worked.

The adoption process took six to nine months and involved background checks and parenting training.

"I had not had thoughts of adopting," says Danny, "but at the same time, I could not stop thinking that… I did feel connected, I felt like this was not even an opportunity, it was a gift, and how can you say no to this gift."



Outside the courtroom Danny telephoned Pete to tell him the news.

"My gut reaction was just to say, 'No - no, you're not, you're not interested. Go back right now into the courtroom and tell her, No, you made a mistake. Just tell her no,'" Pete says.

Over the next week they had what Danny says were tense conversations... Pete calls them heated arguments.

"I didn't want my life to change. I was happy the way we were and this was just going to change everything," Pete says.

"We had no money, we had no space, we still had a roommate… I was also a little angry with him, 'How could you say yes, without consulting me first?'"

The situation almost tore them apart.

"Danny had said at one point, 'I'm going ahead with this whether you're on board or not,' says Pete, and I just said, 'You're choosing a baby over our relationship?'

"He said, 'I would like us to all be a family, I'd like us to do this together, but if you're not ready, I understand and I'm going to do it with or without you.'"

Pete remembers saying some "awful things" to Danny such as, "Good luck being a single parent in New York."

Yet despite this, he says, there was a part of him that desperately wanted it to happen.

So Danny convinced Pete to come with him and visit the baby at his foster home.

When they arrived they said they noticed very quickly it was not an ideal place for him to be. He had painfully sore and infected nappy rash from his belly button all around his hips and thighs to his back.

The caseworker who was with them sat down with the foster mother and pushed the baby seat with the little boy in it towards Danny and Pete. The baby stared at them with wide eyes. Danny noticed he was not blinking and was very quiet.

Holding the baby in his arms for the first time, Danny gently said, "Remember me?"

When it was Pete's turn to hold the baby, an "instant wave of warmth" came over him, he says.

"The baby squeezed my finger with his entire hand so hard," says Pete. "He was just staring up at me and I was just looking at him, and it was almost like he found a pressure point in my finger that just opened up my heart to my head and showed me in that moment that I could be one of his parents, one of his dads."



After that, the adoption process began quickly. There were home visits, background checks and lots of questions to answer. Danny and Pete were told it would take months for the baby to be placed in their home, so they would have lots of time to prepare.

But they had to attend a court hearing on 20 December to state their intention to adopt the baby. The same judge was presiding, and she glanced down at the calendar on her desk.

"She looks back up at us and she says, 'How would you like him for the holiday?'" says Pete. "I think we both nodded, yes, but internally, I'm thinking, 'What holiday? I hope she's not meaning Christmas, because that's in a couple of days.'"

But that was what she meant and she started issuing orders to the caseworker and the attorneys to have the baby ready to pick up from the foster care agency in two days.

Back at home Pete called his family for help.

He'd already told them about their adoption plans, and got their full support.

"I said we're going to name him Kevin, and my mum just started bawling, because she had had a baby before me that died on birth, and they were naming that baby Kevin," says Pete.

"So this was just sort of a weird way of their baby Kevin coming back to them again as a grandchild from their gay son."



With only two days to prepare, everyone was in a frantic rush. Pete's family went to the shops to buy all the supplies the couple needed. Danny and Pete started speed reading baby books such as What to Expect When You're Expecting. Their apartment was turned into a nursery with boxes of nappies everywhere and a cot.

On Friday 22 December at nine o'clock in the morning, Danny and Pete collected Kevin from the foster care agency. They snuggled him up in his blanket and - appropriately - took the subway back to their apartment.

"It had started to snow," says Danny, "so it made it feel even more magical."

Alone that evening as a family, they had a chance to take in everything that had happened.

"I think we exhaled probably for the first time," says Danny. "I remember just kind of marvelling in the moment that this was actually a reality."

Kevin lay fast asleep on Pete's chest, drooling.

The judge's plan had been for Kevin to visit for the Christmas holidays and then return to his foster home. But Danny and Pete asked if there was any way he could stay with them, and on 27 December, the case worker called with good news, Kevin could remain while they completed the home study and certified their home.

The Manhattan Family Court was located near Ground Zero, where the 9/11 attacks took place in September 2001, so the adoption process was delayed, but it was finally completed on 17 December 2002.

Danny, Pete and Kevin soon settled into family life together. Danny remembers how Kevin loved books. Every night they would read bedtime stories or sing him to sleep while stroking his head.

Pete made a picture book with the story of Kevin's discovery, which he decorated with clip art, and when Kevin was three or four, he and Danny would read it to him every night before bedtime.

"It was his favourite," says Pete.

"Some nights, and days, we read it multiple times. We'd often catch Kevin flipping through the pages by himself and mouthing the words he had memorised. This was the sweetest thing in the world to witness."

Kevin didn't make the connection for almost a year that this was his story, Pete says. But when he did, he was so proud and excited that he took the book for a show and tell at his school.



Kevin was also curious about who his biological family might be.

"He would, every now and then, if we were out, look at people on the sidewalk that were passing us by, or if we were at a restaurant, he would point out, 'That woman over there has the same skin colour as me,'" says Pete. "But he never stressed about it and then it just sort of went away. He never really brought it up much."

When Kevin was 10, he was on his way to school when "papa Pete" turned to ask him what he thought about an idea he and "daddy Danny" had been discussing the night before.

It was 2011 and New York had become the sixth state in the US to legalise gay marriage. Although Danny says he and Pete already felt married "by default", this would just make it official.


Danny, Kevin and Pete pose for a picture after the wedding ceremony

Kevin was excited about the idea and turned to his papa to ask him, "Don't judges marry people?"

It was an inspired idea, so Pete sent an email to Manhattan Family Court to ask if the same judge - Judge Cooper - would officiate at their marriage. Within two hours they got a reply, she would be delighted.

At their first meeting, she explained that she had been involved in a short-lived pilot project placing babies who had been abandoned into pre-adoptive foster care, and that she'd had the authority to "expedite that process".

"She also said that all babies needed a connection to somebody. And so when Danny was testifying in the courtroom about finding the baby, in her mind his most serious connection in the world was to Danny, so why not just ask him?" Pete says. "It was almost as simple as that. She saw a connection that was already made, and had a hunch that it would be the right connection."

Her hunch had been correct, as she could see for herself when she met Kevin at the marriage ceremony.

Danny says it was an occasion that left him overcome with emotion, happiness and amazement.

"This woman, the very reason we're a family, is once again, the very reason we're getting married. It was like coming full circle," he says.



Kevin is now 20 years old, and at college studying mathematics and computer science. The tiny baby boy whom Danny discovered on the subway station is now over six feet tall, and taller than his dads.

He loves playing ultimate frisbee, has run numerous marathons and danced with the National Dance Institute from the age of nine to 14. Pete says when Kevin wants to learn something, he just goes out and does it, and has taught himself piano and guitar.

"Kevin's always been a respectful kid," says Pete. "He's empathic and kind. He keeps his emotions close to the vest. He's an observer, doesn't crave or seek attention. He's a private person, but also a quiet leader."

He can also be very funny, Pete says.


Pete, Kevin and Danny in Yosemite National Park in 2019

The family love visiting the national parks together, taking part in outdoor activities such as kayaking and supporting their favourite baseball team, the New York Mets.

"I can't imagine my life if it didn't turn out this way," says Danny, now aged 55. "My life has become much more enriched and full. It has changed my world view, my perspective, my whole lens."

Just as it was inconceivable 20 years ago to think about becoming parents, it is even more inconceivable says Pete, now 52, to think about not being parents.

"I did not know that this level of deep love existed in the world until my son came into my life."

Pete has written a children's book about their family's story called Our Subway Baby... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0525427546

Judge Cooper is a pseudonym Pete uses in his book as she does not want to be named.

The 27-year-old biking competitor and Vans spokesperson took to Instagram this week to pen an emotional post about his journey to self-acceptance and what it was like coming out as a gay man to the people closest to him in his life, especially since there are still not that many out and proud role models in the BMX industry.