How are you today?

[hamsandwizh]

How am I today? Well, I'm barely hanging on and just hoping to stay in my room with no interruptions (that won’t happen!) and keep any personal or phone contact with anyone to a minimum. I won’t go into details as that would take a LONG time but it started Monday and wasn't going great and as expected it only got worse last night at my therapy session that my therapist invited my parents to, evidently they had 'concerns' and all that came of it was my mom saying I'm constantly lying to her (which I'm not) and everything I do is because I am mad at her (which I'm not) and trying to get revenge on her and hurt her (which isn't true). I've done the complete opposite my entire life but evidently it doesn't matter to her, she has her mind made up. It hit me late last night that you know what, I've spent my entire life trying to not upset my parents and I've done everything they've ever asked me to do and it's never enough and although I have a huge loyalty and love for my family it looks like I just might have to give that all up. I don't want to, but it's at a point where anything positive I say about my parents "I'm lying" and if I have anything negative to say it's because I'm "trying to hurt them". So I'm just over it. I've spent a lot of energy and time on this relationship and it's just not worth it to me anymore. I've tried super hard but it's finally at a point where it's not worth it to me to go through this. Never thought I'd get to this point but here we are...

So today I'm not doing good, but a little better then yesterday. I am just hoping to be left alone by my roommates though but we'll see...