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i flushed my drugs down the kitchen sink today
#11
I don't know much about speed, and I support the legalization of both the recreational and medicinal use of marijuana, but I've known a lot of people that have either died or come close to death on heroin.
No one should experiment with heroin.
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#12
Congrats on your decision buddy - don't put too much pressure on yourself though...as cheesy as they say "take one day at a time" don't worry about if you have a slip one day either, just get back on the wagon and continue
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#13
matty7 Wrote:Congrats on your decision buddy - don't put too much pressure on yourself though...as cheesy as they say "take one day at a time" don't worry about if you have a slip one day either, just get back on the wagon and continue

i feel no desire to do it again.

already the last couple of times before this one (i.e. months ago) i wasn't so sure about it anymore. but i continued because i thought it might be some temporary aversion of mine that i'll get over. tuesday just confirmed it to me that i'm done. my body protested against every line i took that night. i didn't even finish the whole pack, i quit right in the middle of it.

i'm aware that it's no big deal if i decide to try it a couple of more times, it won't change things much. but i get nauseous just thinking about it. i can't even smell that thing without wanting to throw up. (amphetamine has this sting to it, when you snort it. and that sting travels to my eyes and to the ipsilateral side of my head, so that everything there ends up stinging. the taste is bitter and nauseating. and these adverse effects last between 15-25 minutes, depending on dosage, and i can't tolerate them). so, i don't think that'll happen.

if i want a fix, i'll stick with cocaine. i also learned that amphetamine can induce terminal degeneration in the dopaminergic neurons, which cocaine does not. so, for my physical well-being and for my dopaminergic neurons, i'll steer clear of it.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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#14
Kudos to you. It is not easy to quit....anything. Never done speed or anything considered hard core...and probably a good thing. Like others have said, don't do too much at once. Took me several tries to quit smoking. A few years ago I tried to quit and went on a health kick and I burned myself out and slipped back into it. Slow and steady wins the race. Bottom line is feeling good and feeling good about yourself and the decisions you make. No one is perfect, don't have to look too far to see that. Put good stuff into your body and things will last longer and you'll generally have a higher quality of life.

Anyway congrats, feel free to reach out if there's anything I can help with.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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#15
MikeW Wrote:There's so much hypocrisy about drugs in our culture its difficult to have any sort of rational conversation about them.

If there's any one thing I have zero patience for it's hypocrisy. But that sentence says it all. So much selective reasoning surrounding this subject that I have to remind myself to give it a wide berth.


meridannight Wrote:it’s a journey, not an end in itself. i have years of decent sessions behind me with speed. a lot of poetry i wrote while i was on it -- it always had the effect of facilitating writing poetry for me. the lines would just pop into my head out of nowhere even if i wasn’t searching for them. it flowed -- the poetry -- i didn’t have to think. it was all there. that was one of the best parts about it for me.

but these things can change. it’s not worth it to me anymore. i know my limits.

it’s not a 'fail' drug. amphetamine has an effect of enhancing cognition and creativity. when used right (mostly this mean keeping within low-dose range) it’s unlikely to harm you. it also has its known therapeutic uses.

but you have to know when to walk away, as with absolutely every illicit drug in the world. there are guys who could probably do it forever. i’m not one of them. it was part of my life, and now it’s time to leave it behind.

Breaking it down, it's a stimulant. How many people out there can't get through the day or night without their coffees and their energy drinks? I know of a few people out there with prescriptions for the pharmaceutical stuff; maybe some of them would have never made it through school without? Ultimately, none of my beeswax.

Anyway, I appreciate your honesty and good for you for knowing what works best for you.
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