How are you today?

[Sylph]

I will never be good at words as queeny but I agree with what he said, although it was ratter small
You are not alone, I am pretty terrified myself to say to much, to get to personal, pretty much why I keep my self to Lol threads. From what I've read there is a lot of things I can relate to in your post. Hope it gets better for you mate Take care.

Lol ye only gay men cooks? So does that mean that every chef is gay? :biggrin:

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Today am I feeling ratter confused, as always. If I am going to collage then I got to choose what to study, got no idea what I want to work with. The ignorance is killing me. I can't help either to stop thinking "Why am I gay? There is 6 Billion persons in the world, why do I have to be that 5% (3-8% somewhere) to be gay? What made me gay? Why...?", guess I just got hard to accept the fact that I am gay and nothing will ever change it. It just seem so simple living as straight. Just looking at my brother who'se been with the same girl for soon 3 years, makes me realize I want some intimacy to but not ready to come out.

I feel you on the college end. I was rushing around right after highschool, because I didn't know where to go and I couldn't get a scholarship, and the only way to get a good music scholarship, is to audition at the school and I believe it or not, am not financially as stable as alot of people percieve me as and I was worried about my family and all this was getting to me. Until my aunt in England told me I could stay with her, while I go to school out there, even though technically England wasn't my first choice, as I wanted to go to america to study.

As for the gay bit, I wouldn't look at it as "why am I gay?", but "why aren't I happy with myself?" and work it out from there. I don't think sexuality makes life any simpler or harder, but is merely a portion of who you are as a person.

Barack Obama is straight, yet his life is probably chaotic, while Ellen Degeneres has a very happy life and makes others happy, even though it was always that way.