How are you today?

[Sceak]

About 3 years ago, I was going through a very bad breakup. I was way past the point where I had any feeling of self-worth, and was almost coming apart at the seams with the interminable voyage of a rudderless boat set adrift to the mercy of the currents of a heartless ocean.

And then one day I broke, crying on the streets of Hulhumalé while a very wise woman who was a consultant at work put my head on her shoulder and let my tears soak her shoulder pad.

And then she said, "Why don't you try just 'be'ing?"

I said, "What do you mean, being :confused: "

She said, "Not being, 'BE'ing. Everything's going horribly for you now, but that doesn't mean that you've got to fight it, or run away from it. Just be, W. Exist, even if it is unpleasant. I'm not promising that things will get better; you'll have to see that for youself."

And I existed. Since then I found love three times, broke up three times, returned home and ran away for the third time and met my boyfriend in January 2011.

It hasn't been easy living since then. Our romance isn't as creamy and smooth as I write about it in my blog, but chunky and chewy, where some bits we just spit out and the others we grit our teeth through.

And then here I am, still existing, hoping that one day I will feel whole and alive again.

But you know what? It's the BEing that's the zen of it all. I'm feeling a lot like what you described, Sceak. But the only thing is that I don't accept it, I know life is being terribly unfair to me, but sigh sigh... since when has life ever been fair?

I feel so f:eek:king low right now, I need a big hug, but my bf is spending the night at his mother's who demands a lot of his attention. There's nothing I can do about it, and I wish it wasn't that way because I need his love.

So I'll just have to , till the time's right.

Right?

Sounds like it worked out great for you.