01-25-2013, 10:12 AM
7 out of 10 today. I met a charming fella online the other day and have gotten to chat a bit more with him today so that's a high point.
The down side is that I am having trouble following my convictions. I really want to tell my coworkers I'm gay and I keep chickening out. Even had the perfect opportunity as one of the guys was describing the attractive parts of a girl he had met. All I had to say was "she's not what I'd want because I'm gay". I've practiced it so many times while I'm alone in the truck and I fell so motivated. Then when I'm with the others, I clam up. Massive butterflies in the stomach and I start sweating profusely.
Even I know it's stupid to be afraid. I am who I am. It's just that I've covered it up so long it's really hard to come out.
The down side is that I am having trouble following my convictions. I really want to tell my coworkers I'm gay and I keep chickening out. Even had the perfect opportunity as one of the guys was describing the attractive parts of a girl he had met. All I had to say was "she's not what I'd want because I'm gay". I've practiced it so many times while I'm alone in the truck and I fell so motivated. Then when I'm with the others, I clam up. Massive butterflies in the stomach and I start sweating profusely.
Even I know it's stupid to be afraid. I am who I am. It's just that I've covered it up so long it's really hard to come out.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
