12-25-2013, 06:56 PM
Xmas would never be my favourite day, for one or another reason.
Sad day.
Today was supposed to be better than usual, cause luckily I'm alone at home, but I woke up sick LOL and feeling lonely (From that side, not the one of the chaotic family etc) but switched on skype for my mom etc, cause they wanted to see me. I faked, but I wasn't happy to see all of them. The kids, so cute, but surrounded with a ridiculous amount of toys and objects, the auntie with too much jewels etc. :-( Everything fake and materialistic.
I was smiling all the time but feeling sad.
So I'm spending the rest of the day doing normal things, laundry etc, and now I started doing the worst thing of the day: Booking the damn flight to go back.
And all of these things put me back about feeling lonely and my precarious situation, the impossibility of finding a partner etc. With a special person near me, now, everything would be going different. I'm more than sure.
Sad day.
Today was supposed to be better than usual, cause luckily I'm alone at home, but I woke up sick LOL and feeling lonely (From that side, not the one of the chaotic family etc) but switched on skype for my mom etc, cause they wanted to see me. I faked, but I wasn't happy to see all of them. The kids, so cute, but surrounded with a ridiculous amount of toys and objects, the auntie with too much jewels etc. :-( Everything fake and materialistic.
I was smiling all the time but feeling sad.
So I'm spending the rest of the day doing normal things, laundry etc, and now I started doing the worst thing of the day: Booking the damn flight to go back.
And all of these things put me back about feeling lonely and my precarious situation, the impossibility of finding a partner etc. With a special person near me, now, everything would be going different. I'm more than sure.