How are you today?

[southbiochem]

So, I have an anecdote about my day:

My school has a great gym. Really expensive looking, beautiful... a pool, ping pong tables, and inside track, etc. And I, being a student, get to use it for free (well, not completely free. My membership fee is tied into tuition), but I never have in the two years I've been here. I tried once, but I got intimidated by all the muscley frat boys that live there. I've been exercising quite a bit on my own, but I spend so much time on campus, it's a shame I don't use the facilities.

But today I decided to go for it. I'm very self conscious about my weight (haven't worn a t-shirt in public since I was 11) and VERY self conscious about being caught exercising. I, like many people who spent their childhood overweight/obese, have accrued an impressive list of bad memories from high school gym class/locker room. Everyone always says "no one pays attention to anyone else at the gym!" After all, I'm not 15 anymore, so I decided to get over myself and just go.

After struggling through a near panic attack in the locker room while becoming very confused about how to get a damn locker open, I remembered I'm an adult, not a two year old, and decided not to throw a fit and storm out. I stuck it out, asked for help at the front desk, and got a locker. Then I went to the main floor (in a white T-Shirt!!!!) and found a nice secluded area with a treadmill and started my run.

Everything was going pretty smoothly. No one was laughing at me or making fun of me (an irrational fear, I know... I know) and no one was paying any attention to me whatsoever! Fantastic!

But it turned out, that the very hour I chose to be there was the very hour that some high school class decided it would be a good time to take a field trip and tour the gym. I panicked. And of course... the adult leader of the group decided to stop right in front of me and talk to the class about the gym.

So there I was, having avoided the gym or wearing a t-shirt for ten years because of embarrassing adolescent ridicule, on a treadmill in a t-shirt surrounded by fifteen year olds. And you know what????

... It wasn't that big a deal. I actually started laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I think I'll go again tomorrow.

So basically you're going to make yourself even MORE out of my league

well good for you, anyway