Choosing to live life in solitude

[InbetweenDreams]

I think you need to address why you feel that you're an unpleasant person?

Not sure why, but it makes me feel like something is wrong with me when people avoid me in conversations. It makes me feel like I am not worthy of friendships or conversations.

[quote='InbetweenDreams' pid='734536' dateline='1641747812']
I mean if its only been "elevator talk" (that is making small talk like, "how about that weather?") that can be boring to people.

Yes, you are right. Most of my conversations are like that. I think maybe because I'm not a good conversation starter.

Perhaps you can go into detail about a conversation you had where someone avoided talking to you? Elevator talk is fine but if the conversation doesn't go anywhere beyond that it can be uninteresting. Conversation starters can be something you have in common with the person you're talking to. Can be anything, like this very conversation we're having here for instance.

So I feel like there's something more here.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with living a life in solitude, however, how do you really feel about that? Do you really want to be alone?

I understand there are many motivational sayings that we must love ourselves, be comfortable being alone etc.

But still, it is desirable to have someone else to talk to.

Like talking about the old school days, college days, ex-company days etc.

Commenting about how the food is like (whether it's nice or not) while eating it together in a restaurant/cafe.

(Reminds me of a "friend" who likes to eat outside with me in the past but expects me to pay the bill every time.)

Playing a games like chess with another person. It's definitely different from playing computerized chess game.

I'm not saying that I want to be with another person 24/7. It's just that it's nice to have someone to talk to.

I mean I have a hard time "loving myself," and to be honest I don't know that I do, sometimes I am comfortable being alone and at other times I really hate it. I don't think most people want to be around others all the time and being around someone else doesn't require constant attention. Like going on a walk with someone, you can stare off into space while doing that.