am I in the closet?

[asexual]

I thought my orientation was straight for years. I had crushes on several girls. And I had been in a relationship with a girl a lot after then too. And when I had finally told her the truth she understood and became one of my bestest friends.

I was reading thru your posts and you said you found out in 8th grade? around that time i still thought girls had cooties....i guess i devolped very slowly....

i just feel robbed....like i used to want a gf sooooo bad and worshipped women etc and now this.....i am not sure what to do and the thought of living as a homosexual makes me cry and depressed....

it might seem stupid but i just can't control my emotions...no offense to anyone here it's just that you know.....it's like i've known all my life i was made to be straight...like it's my programming,,,