I am hopeless.plz help

[gayboyindia24]

Whr shud i strt frm.i turnd 25 few days ago bt i think i hvnt chngd a bit since past 9yrs wen i ws 16(at dat age i bcme net savvy n strtd watchng gayporn n meeting ppl) i wnt 2 do so many things in lyf,wnt 2 hve gud career,hve my own money n trvl arnd the world,do al sorts of adventurs,wnt 2 learn martial arts,wnt 2 tke classes fr foreign language lyk french,wnt 2 help poor ppl,wnt 2 do sumthng fr my country bt al my goals go for a toss wen sex cums in my mind n it is in my mind 24x7.its nt lyk i hvnt tried 2 get rid off this,i try n it last fr a week n thn i strt again n its been the sme since past nine yrs.plus my insecurities lyk m shrt 5.3(though i try 2 b positive abt it bt wenevr i see a young tal handsum guy,i bcum sad or even if sum1 taunt me i bcum sad),i'l nvr evr cn get married 2 a gurl coz m gay,i wont hve boyfren i'l hve 2 leave alone since m short,y m nt lyk othr guys who watch sports or a sport phanatic(m nt sissy,mind it).evryday i watch porn,chat n naked cam shows..m so fed up.plz help hw 2 gain my focus?i rlly wnt evry1 2 gimme sum suggstn who is goin thru my story.hoping sumthng gud frm u ppl.plz help dis hopeless fellow