10-21-2012, 06:22 PM
Hello. *This is a long post, sorry.*
I'm lost on how to proceed in my domestic partnership (ya, California). My partner (26 yo) and I (25 yo) have been together for a little over 3 years and his choices have had a major toll on my health and outlook. I want to 'stick it out' and see better days but every time there is a glimmer of hope something else happens.
Going into it I knew he had a troubled background and fought depression. But over the past 3 years he has been unable to keep a job and now because of his choices is unable to get one. The four major events that occurred that have me really looking at this crossroads are:
1) RX drug misuse - for things that have been lawfully and properly prescribed to him. Mainly benzos and depression/sleep aids. About 2 years ago I had to have him taken to the hospital for 'accidental overdose' on the combo depression/sleep aid. The hospital, properly, placed him under a 72-hour hold and released him to his normal physc. The drug misuse has been hidden from me in the most part and has gotten problematic to the point that I now have all abusable mediations locked up in a safe which I am the only one that has access to.
2) Unable to keep jobs - in two of the 3 jobs he has had in the past 3 years he was either going to be terminated quickly or was terminated. Looking back, both of them the employer was in the right.
3) So - him being unemployed didn't really bother me and since August last year he has been not working. He somewhat keeps up our home but really didn't do a whole lot. Then a few months ago he was arrested for shoplifting (over 1k). It was a total nightmare getting him released and I promptly hired the best attorney I can find. I also got him into the best physiological/physiatry combination care I can find. He was quickly diagnosed Bipolar-1. At that point, looking back, I agreed with the doctor and we then proceeded to start treatment. Things were going well until..
4) A little while ago he was arrested again for petty theft. We had the money for the items and yet he still did it.
I asked his doctor a very difficult and loaded question - did he know what he was doing and did he know it was wrong. The doctor gave me the answer, which was not what I wanted to hear; basically yes to both.
So... I guess the true crossroad is here and I have to take action. Do I cut my losses (as I have burned through all of my savings and now am paycheck-to-paycheck) and dissolve the partnership and kick him out of my life to preserve what little hope of a future I have left or do I stick with him and 'get him the help he needs' (who knows what that will be).
Any advice - any quotes, anything would be ever greatly appreciated.
I'm lost on how to proceed in my domestic partnership (ya, California). My partner (26 yo) and I (25 yo) have been together for a little over 3 years and his choices have had a major toll on my health and outlook. I want to 'stick it out' and see better days but every time there is a glimmer of hope something else happens.
Going into it I knew he had a troubled background and fought depression. But over the past 3 years he has been unable to keep a job and now because of his choices is unable to get one. The four major events that occurred that have me really looking at this crossroads are:
1) RX drug misuse - for things that have been lawfully and properly prescribed to him. Mainly benzos and depression/sleep aids. About 2 years ago I had to have him taken to the hospital for 'accidental overdose' on the combo depression/sleep aid. The hospital, properly, placed him under a 72-hour hold and released him to his normal physc. The drug misuse has been hidden from me in the most part and has gotten problematic to the point that I now have all abusable mediations locked up in a safe which I am the only one that has access to.
2) Unable to keep jobs - in two of the 3 jobs he has had in the past 3 years he was either going to be terminated quickly or was terminated. Looking back, both of them the employer was in the right.
3) So - him being unemployed didn't really bother me and since August last year he has been not working. He somewhat keeps up our home but really didn't do a whole lot. Then a few months ago he was arrested for shoplifting (over 1k). It was a total nightmare getting him released and I promptly hired the best attorney I can find. I also got him into the best physiological/physiatry combination care I can find. He was quickly diagnosed Bipolar-1. At that point, looking back, I agreed with the doctor and we then proceeded to start treatment. Things were going well until..
4) A little while ago he was arrested again for petty theft. We had the money for the items and yet he still did it.
I asked his doctor a very difficult and loaded question - did he know what he was doing and did he know it was wrong. The doctor gave me the answer, which was not what I wanted to hear; basically yes to both.
So... I guess the true crossroad is here and I have to take action. Do I cut my losses (as I have burned through all of my savings and now am paycheck-to-paycheck) and dissolve the partnership and kick him out of my life to preserve what little hope of a future I have left or do I stick with him and 'get him the help he needs' (who knows what that will be).
Any advice - any quotes, anything would be ever greatly appreciated.
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