11-21-2016, 07:30 AM
So Ok, I am back.
Regrets? Definately not.
I originally joined GS about 5-6 years ago to be a friend as I was happy and confident in who I am, things were ok back then.
about 3 years ago a lot of things were going wrong and I seemed to be taking hit after hit and my perception of the world and the people around me largely became distorted. This is the symptom of not only someone spiralling into depression, but someone denying the fact that they are spiralling in to depression.
I was angry, I was hateful, I was misunderstood and that made me angrier.
18 months ago I hit rock bottom, I simply stopped functioning all together. I was looking at a page of numbers at work and I just could not understand a thing on the page, everything that happened around that time and over the next 2 months are a bit of a blur. I had a breakdown.
It has been a long 18 months and it is only recently that I have ceased all medication and I actually sleep 8 hours a night as opposed to sleeping an hour here and there.
Am I going to apologise for my behaviour? not a chance in hell. This spiral into depression only reassured me that it is OK not to trust anyone.
Let me explain. People reported me, complained, thought I was nothing but a cunt....very very few cared enough to say 'Are you OK'...would it have changed anything? No, I was headed down that road anyway, but the landing on rock bottom would have been softer.
BUT I stand dfiantly not caring how I was misunderstood back then, not just here, but by the people around me at work and trust me, I have told them this exact same thing. You need to ask people who are acting irrationally compared to what is normal behaviour for them 'Are you OK', and keep asking them.
I came back because my second nature is to care and support, that was who I am, that IS who I am.
Life is simple, don't let stereotypes bog you down, you are who you are and if you need help, ask for help...if you can't ask for help then I am one that will be there falling down that prick of a hole throwing cushions on rock bottom.
It's a cunt of a ride.
Regrets? Definately not.
I originally joined GS about 5-6 years ago to be a friend as I was happy and confident in who I am, things were ok back then.
about 3 years ago a lot of things were going wrong and I seemed to be taking hit after hit and my perception of the world and the people around me largely became distorted. This is the symptom of not only someone spiralling into depression, but someone denying the fact that they are spiralling in to depression.
I was angry, I was hateful, I was misunderstood and that made me angrier.
18 months ago I hit rock bottom, I simply stopped functioning all together. I was looking at a page of numbers at work and I just could not understand a thing on the page, everything that happened around that time and over the next 2 months are a bit of a blur. I had a breakdown.
It has been a long 18 months and it is only recently that I have ceased all medication and I actually sleep 8 hours a night as opposed to sleeping an hour here and there.
Am I going to apologise for my behaviour? not a chance in hell. This spiral into depression only reassured me that it is OK not to trust anyone.
Let me explain. People reported me, complained, thought I was nothing but a cunt....very very few cared enough to say 'Are you OK'...would it have changed anything? No, I was headed down that road anyway, but the landing on rock bottom would have been softer.
BUT I stand dfiantly not caring how I was misunderstood back then, not just here, but by the people around me at work and trust me, I have told them this exact same thing. You need to ask people who are acting irrationally compared to what is normal behaviour for them 'Are you OK', and keep asking them.
I came back because my second nature is to care and support, that was who I am, that IS who I am.
Life is simple, don't let stereotypes bog you down, you are who you are and if you need help, ask for help...if you can't ask for help then I am one that will be there falling down that prick of a hole throwing cushions on rock bottom.
It's a cunt of a ride.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
