12-30-2010, 06:52 AM
So I am extremely confused...
I have been best friends with this guy for about 10 years. We do just about everthing together and we both really value the time we spend together. We are also currently room mates... We have become extremely close and know everything there is to know about each other. I have been in love him for years and kept it all a secret (including the fact that I am bi). I finally got up the courage to tell him that I was bi and that I loved him more than a friend. I just couldn't keep all of my feelings that I had for him bottled up. He took it very well, and nothing has changed between us. He simply said that he wasn't that way. We actually got in a bit of an argument the other day about it all...he said that he's not 100% happy because he really wants to be in a relationship with a girl and get married some day (we are both in our mid 20's) and he said that I (me) am perfectly happy because I don't really have a desire to be with a girl and would be happy being with him the rest of my life (cause I joke with him and say stuff like "I wish we could be together forever"). This is all true, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I know I would be the happiest guy in the world if I could be with him the rest of my life. The bottom line is (and this is where the confusion sets in), he says all the time that he isn't that way and wants to get married some day. However, he does things constantly that makes me think he could potentially feel the same way about me but is too proud/embarassed to show it (he is an extremely proud person). For example (this has all happened even after I told him that I was bi and loved him more than a friend)...if we are reading something on the couch on the computer he will sometimes let me put my head on his shoulder and let me keep it there for quite a while...he touches me a lot on my stomach and always tries to tickle me and play around...we hug each other a lot and sometimes he will let me put my head on his shoulder longer than normal...when I hug him from time to time I will even kiss him on his head and he lets me do that...he will randomly tell me that he loves me a lot and I will almost always tell him I love him when we are talking on the phone before we hang up...recently he called me and was like hey when are you getting home from work...I wanna hang out and put a fire in the fireplace and watch a movie together. What's even more weird is that he will do things sometimes to incinuate stuff, like he will put a water bottle by mouth and move it up and down...sometimes I will grab his hand and he will hold it longer than normal and he'll say jokingly "ur gay". Sometimes he will let me give him a back massage for like 20 minutes and I will touch him all over his back/neck/face/etc (even slightly below his waist line on his back). I have been off from work the past couple weeks for the holidays...he comes into my room in the morning (really early) to give me a hug and say goodbye before he leaves for work. The other morning he told me that "I make him happy" before he went to work. There's a lot of other things similar to what I mentioned that he does that makes me think he may be kind of bi...but he insists he isn't...it's just hard for me to believe. I almost think he may be but just to proud to admit it (and probably ashamed too). I love him more than anything else in the world (true genuine love) and I know he loves me a lot too...We are both completely straight acting guys (you probably could never tell I am bi). I just don't know if he's hiding his true feelings or what! I almost think that even if he did want to be with me he would fight it to the end and try to be straight... It's just so hard for me because I love him unconditionally, I love everything about him...even his faults...what do I do??? Any suggestions???? Is it possible that he is bi/gay but just doesn't want to admit it???
I have been best friends with this guy for about 10 years. We do just about everthing together and we both really value the time we spend together. We are also currently room mates... We have become extremely close and know everything there is to know about each other. I have been in love him for years and kept it all a secret (including the fact that I am bi). I finally got up the courage to tell him that I was bi and that I loved him more than a friend. I just couldn't keep all of my feelings that I had for him bottled up. He took it very well, and nothing has changed between us. He simply said that he wasn't that way. We actually got in a bit of an argument the other day about it all...he said that he's not 100% happy because he really wants to be in a relationship with a girl and get married some day (we are both in our mid 20's) and he said that I (me) am perfectly happy because I don't really have a desire to be with a girl and would be happy being with him the rest of my life (cause I joke with him and say stuff like "I wish we could be together forever"). This is all true, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I know I would be the happiest guy in the world if I could be with him the rest of my life. The bottom line is (and this is where the confusion sets in), he says all the time that he isn't that way and wants to get married some day. However, he does things constantly that makes me think he could potentially feel the same way about me but is too proud/embarassed to show it (he is an extremely proud person). For example (this has all happened even after I told him that I was bi and loved him more than a friend)...if we are reading something on the couch on the computer he will sometimes let me put my head on his shoulder and let me keep it there for quite a while...he touches me a lot on my stomach and always tries to tickle me and play around...we hug each other a lot and sometimes he will let me put my head on his shoulder longer than normal...when I hug him from time to time I will even kiss him on his head and he lets me do that...he will randomly tell me that he loves me a lot and I will almost always tell him I love him when we are talking on the phone before we hang up...recently he called me and was like hey when are you getting home from work...I wanna hang out and put a fire in the fireplace and watch a movie together. What's even more weird is that he will do things sometimes to incinuate stuff, like he will put a water bottle by mouth and move it up and down...sometimes I will grab his hand and he will hold it longer than normal and he'll say jokingly "ur gay". Sometimes he will let me give him a back massage for like 20 minutes and I will touch him all over his back/neck/face/etc (even slightly below his waist line on his back). I have been off from work the past couple weeks for the holidays...he comes into my room in the morning (really early) to give me a hug and say goodbye before he leaves for work. The other morning he told me that "I make him happy" before he went to work. There's a lot of other things similar to what I mentioned that he does that makes me think he may be kind of bi...but he insists he isn't...it's just hard for me to believe. I almost think he may be but just to proud to admit it (and probably ashamed too). I love him more than anything else in the world (true genuine love) and I know he loves me a lot too...We are both completely straight acting guys (you probably could never tell I am bi). I just don't know if he's hiding his true feelings or what! I almost think that even if he did want to be with me he would fight it to the end and try to be straight... It's just so hard for me because I love him unconditionally, I love everything about him...even his faults...what do I do??? Any suggestions???? Is it possible that he is bi/gay but just doesn't want to admit it???
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