don't call me insane again .... just need a serious advice

[ChadCoxRox]

If you are an isolated young gay male in a culture of mostly all older gay males and longing for a better situation...that may or may not be considered a drama... but that's not the point! The point is what can you do about it? It can't be easy or you would not take the time to describe it and talk about it here! I think you will find some relief eventually but the way you describe the whole entire scenario just "feels" like you have little to no options. I'd like to know more of your resources and plans.