Have you ever felt unlucky in love?

[princealbertofb]

I wish I was that lucky, but I'm very shy and not into the bar/club scene. Plus it's hard to tell if a guy is just being nice or into you, and you dont't know which ones will over react if you ask if they are gay/bi. So now I'm just hoping to have at least one serious relatiomship before I die.

Because it is difficult or maybe felt as rude to ask someone directly about their sexual orientation, one way to curtail this difficulty is not to ask if someone else is gay or bi... which can be embarrassing, but to own it for yourself and state the information that YOU are gay or bisexual, therefore potentially interested if they are too. That way, you don't corner your fellow speaker into an uneasy situation.

Once you've announced that you are, then it gives them the opportunity to come out with their own truth, if they are ready to acknowledge it. I also believe that if they are not gay or bisexual, then they'll feel the necessity to tell you that they are not. Problem settled.

This does take a certain confidence that you can announce who you are and maybe explain why you are engaging the conversation. It is also possible to state that you are looking for friends, and that you prefer friends who are not averse to having gay friends. Telling a complete stranger that you're gay is somewhat easier than telling someone whom you've known for a while and has never suspected that you were.

Of course there are several ways of saying this, which can go from the blunt: "I am gay / bi" to other more subtle ways... for you to find for yourselves.

If you're very subtle, the fellow speaker might engage in a course of questions where he tries to find out who you are. He'll feel you are encouraging him to find out more about you. It's a bit like flirting.