Have you ever felt unlucky in love?

[fr0sty]

I am the "never say never" opinion when it comes to finding someone, and do totally believe the "there is someone for everyone" saying, but at the same time I see 40 as old and a time to pretty much give up(probably shouldn't but I do)...

I'm not out (don't wish to be. plus even if I wanted to be, can't due to where I live). I'm also fairly shy and not real good with the whole social interaction thing.

As for going into a gay establishment...Yeah its fear/nervousness...
Part of it is ofcourse the risk on being seen inside, and/or going in. (going alone is another big one)
But also going into a bar when you can't/don't drink, what would you do ?


That all said...I had the same fears/feelings of being seen/going alone on this:
I went to the Pridefest's in Denver and Boulder for the 1st time last year
and those feelings totally went away once I arrived even with tons of people there
(in reality a risk I shouldn't take, but since I don't live in either city and really wanted to go I did. I also must say did enjoy it)

I see gay establishment vs the above as being different/more scary LOL
Something like Pridefest you can just go walk around/and watch the bands/entertainment/or whatever, and people probly won't even notice you. But in a bar/club I see it as you're allot closer to others, someone might notice you/you might actually have to interact with someone...
(I'm also totally clueless on anything dating/relationship related or even something as simple as being hit on)

Maybe some of my fears are unfounded like they were with attending Pridefest I don't know.
(this spring I went to the the Denver Pridefest again, and the parade too...while cool to see the parade I won't risk again because I almost ended up outing myself to my mother :eek: I'm somewhat tempted to go to Boulder's Pridefest this fall...but deff gotta be carefull)

72jay...

i used to feel the same way.
i started going out to the different scenes because I started feeling like if I dont put myself in any situations to meet other men who are actually INTERESTED in men, then the chances of finding one would be slim to none. Its basically the whole "cant win the lottery if you dont play" theory.

I'm glad to hear that you are happy where you are, but in all honesty, you sound similar to what I've told a lot of friends who dont know about me. I used to tell them all the time that I was happy being single, and that I'm not interested in finding anyone, and that I'm entirely too busy with work or whatever to have time for a relationship. These things were really all untrue, for me anyway, and it took a while for me to finally just admit to myself that I was lying about them.

I had JUST moved here to Colorado before Denver's pride festival and didn't really get to go, but I hope to be able to attend one, someday. I think it's awesome that you did go, because yeah, the larger the crowd, the less likely you are to be noticed. Aside from the that, think of how many gay men show up for that. The chances of meeting someone of interest would be most high at one of the events.

Anyway, not sure where in Colorado you live, but if you ever find yourself in Springs maybe we can grab a drink! lol