08-17-2012, 02:41 PM
Well, this sounds like a clear case of how a young man deals with denial! You say you've been in a relationship for 8 years, and i'm guessing you 2 don't live together right? YOU have created, in your mind, a reality that you and he are a couple - but by his words and deeds he hasn't 100% committed to the relationship.
That would explain why he says what he does about his friend (my boy) and why he shows no affection to you in public (or even acknowledges that you 2 are together( - he's sending a message to the world that he's just a cool, hip 20-somethign guy who's comfortable with his sexuality.
So, all that said, after 8 years, why NOW are you getting upset. I can't belive taht this is an "all of a sudden" thing. If it is something that's just started happening, then you might have something serious to think about.
If he's always talked and acted like this, you really can't get pissed about him doing and saying things he's been doing and saying all along - just because now it hurts your feelings. You either accept him for who he is and how he wants your relationship to be, OR you break it off and move on.
If this behaviour is new (a year or so) then actually, i'm guessing he's putting distance between you 2 because he's just waiting for a reason to break up...until then, he'll be happy with keeping things as they are, but after 8 years, if he dosn't even acknowledge taht you 2 are a couple - he's sending a message to you (and others) that it's really NOT a relationship.
He also sounds a bit immature - which is normal actually. We all mature a different speeds, and given his age, the freedoms he's got now as a young adult and (perhaps) the feeling that he "settled" with you and that he should have the freedom to explore and experience more iwht different guys - is something for you to consider!
That would explain why he says what he does about his friend (my boy) and why he shows no affection to you in public (or even acknowledges that you 2 are together( - he's sending a message to the world that he's just a cool, hip 20-somethign guy who's comfortable with his sexuality.
So, all that said, after 8 years, why NOW are you getting upset. I can't belive taht this is an "all of a sudden" thing. If it is something that's just started happening, then you might have something serious to think about.
If he's always talked and acted like this, you really can't get pissed about him doing and saying things he's been doing and saying all along - just because now it hurts your feelings. You either accept him for who he is and how he wants your relationship to be, OR you break it off and move on.
If this behaviour is new (a year or so) then actually, i'm guessing he's putting distance between you 2 because he's just waiting for a reason to break up...until then, he'll be happy with keeping things as they are, but after 8 years, if he dosn't even acknowledge taht you 2 are a couple - he's sending a message to you (and others) that it's really NOT a relationship.
He also sounds a bit immature - which is normal actually. We all mature a different speeds, and given his age, the freedoms he's got now as a young adult and (perhaps) the feeling that he "settled" with you and that he should have the freedom to explore and experience more iwht different guys - is something for you to consider!
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