How to identify a gay man?

[Slim]

I wasted emotion in falling for a straight guy once. If I'd had more choice I would not have! It was fun trying out heterosexuality by having relations with a straight dude.

Me too, and I've got more than once.
Straight men, no doubt, are always attractive to me. But results are the same: I got hurt all over and left him without a word. Howerver close is the relationship between you and your straight friend, he will at most take it as a bromance rather than love affairs, I think. So, now I'm keeping one saying in mind, which is very known in Chinese gay circles, that stay away from straight men, and treasure your life.
Besides, it seems like more of fairy tales to me that straight men turned gay out of the real love for someone...... :eek:

[Slim]

For most people, no there is no real easy way to tell if a person is gay, bi, straight, catholic, Baptist, whatever.

When it comes to sexuality watch their eyes. Gay men tend to let their gaze linger longer on males than females. Straight men tend to let their gaze linger longer on females over males. Bi-sexuals tend to spend time 'appreciating the view' with both genders. Of course this only works on the ones who are interested in 'dating' or are sexually active. There are 'prudes' who totally refuse to stare (let their gaze linger) on either gender, or who are absorbed in other things to actually pay attention to the hot tight butt of whomever just walked by.

There are no set of behaviors or fashions worn that really separate people based on sexual orientation, unless they are wearing something obvious as a rainbow. Lord knows the gays have tried through the decades, but nearly every fashion statement gays adopted to help in the identifying process of other gays straights adopted. Be it the pocket square (adopted in the middle late 1800's by gays that turned into a solid, must have for any well dressed man by the 1920's) to the pierced ear. All of these fashion statements have been stolen by straight men.

I have an advanced perception ability, I trained starting at a very young age, it was necessary to be able to gauge wen the next fist was going to fly so I could duck or prevent serious damage. As a side effect to being always hyper-aware (for self defensive purposes) I learned behaviors and to closely observe what people are looking at, their body language and the like.

Good news everyone, you do not need to train your perceptions via an abusive childhood. One can simply do it by 'people watching'. In the old days when the Shopping Malls were the popular place for people to socialize, one could sit in one place for hours observing people, watching them and learning a lot about 'tells' and how their body language operates before they do an action.

The whole 'gaydar' thing is basically people absorbing and acknowledging some of the vast data that they collect all the time. Most sensory data we collect we 'ignore'. For instance until I mentioned it, you were not aware of the press of your clothing against your skin. You ignored it until it was brought to your attention.

We ignore a lot of data when it comes to people. Gays can pick out other gays because of experience of being around other gays and unconsciously picking up and on dozens of tiny clues, from where a person looks (or at whom) to how they hold their body around different people.

With all of that said, if you are interested in a person the best and perhaps the only way to figure it all out is just to ask. Trust me, you can be a game player and pin your hopes to the point where you will see gay where there is none. It just saves a lot of time and hassle to pull the person aside and ask if they are 'family' or right out if they are gay.

Thank you for your so explicit advice! You're really knowledgeable in the gay history and indentifying them!:biggrin: As you mentioned, I've ever practiced the way of picking out gay men by special signs. For example, in China, gays prefer to tie a red string around one of their ankles. But it does not work out that fine, not easy to notice.
Now, I still rely mostly on my intuition and subconsciousness. At times, I feel there's a magnetic field of gays in between, of course I cannot figure out what it is on earth......

[Slim]

I personally can tell if someone is gay by the gut instinct its a case of monitoring their behaviour really but my experience being in a gay capital can also cause mis judgement in a rurual areas

Wow, so Brighton is the gay capital of England?:eek:

[Sylph]

First off, I really like your Avatar picture, it's just so cute <3 .

^ - That's how you know I'm gay

~

But I believe the only true way is to ask them, but you can also try what others here have stated. I find that noticing signs that make it obvious, doesn't always help, so maybe you can just make friends with people.

Maybe someone else who is wondering the same thing, may notice you. Sometimes you also have to allow yourself to be available to people who may be interested in you.

It's easier to have someone else be the one you're curious about or for them to be the "Attracter" and you the "Attractee" who only has to look, while they have to be available/looked at.

It takes two to Tango :biggrin: .

[pellaz]

look at who the proposed gay boy/ girl hangs around with...

[fenris]

Thank you for your sincere advice! In certain provinces in China, people tend to take wearing white trousers as a symbol of being gay......

Here we wear the "one ear-ring" in/since the 80th..... but very fast many males had earrings...some right...some left .... now I have both sides ... but it says nothing.... my neighbour...straight... wears 4 on every side....
For many people here its unimportant of others think that they are maybe gay .... or straight....

[Slim]

First off, I really like your Avatar picture, it's just so cute <3 .

^ - That's how you know I'm gay

~

But I believe the only true way is to ask them, but you can also try what others here have stated. I find that noticing signs that make it obvious, doesn't always help, so maybe you can just make friends with people.

Maybe someone else who is wondering the same thing, may notice you. Sometimes you also have to allow yourself to be available to people who may be interested in you.

It's easier to have someone else be the one you're curious about or for them to be the "Attracter" and you the "Attractee" who only has to look, while they have to be available/looked at.

It takes two to Tango :biggrin: .

Thank you for your appreciation and so nice a suggestion! As you put it, sometimes it matters to make myself available to people who are interested in me. Yet during my high school life, almost all the boys who are interested in me are hardly doing that out of a true feeling for me. Some, even worse, just want to find out whether I'm gay or not!
Sometimes I even doubt the frienships with some other boys. Now, I take such signs more as a polite fun, not seriously as before.

[Slim]

Here we wear the "one ear-ring" in/since the 80th..... but very fast many males had earrings...some right...some left .... now I have both sides ... but it says nothing.... my neighbour...straight... wears 4 on every side....
For many people here its unimportant of others think that they are maybe gay .... or straight....

4!!!Wow, getting ears pierced really hurts, doesn't it? I've never tried that...
Well, perhaps in the western world, gays are more likely to be accepted. But in China, especially in the rural areas, gays are still a highly sensitive topic.:frown:

[ESLteacher]

The guy that hooked up with you last night

[bryandurel]

I've given up on the whole gaydar thing. I just head to a club and it works for me.