finally writing this out..advice what do you think

[princealbertofb]

Hello and welcome! I have a similar story to yours. I liked girls in my earlier years and started becoming attracted to boys when I was around 11years old. Throughout high school I liked girls romantically and sexually and guys just sexually. As time has progress, my interest in women is very very very low. I would say that for the last 10 years I have consistently been attracted to guys, turned on to them crushes, etc. A few girls have caught my eye, but the past 10 years I have been strongly attracted to guys. I would say about 5 years ago is when it really peaked and I was not only fantasizing about their body parts but even having romantic relationships with them. I would say now, I'm interested in one. I haven't been in one. I've met a few guys at a club and hugged and held hands and kissed and all that sort of stuff. I actually felt great while doing this with guys and then later felt shame only to find myself wanting to hold another guys hand or kiss his lips, or hug. I THINK as time has gone by, I have become a little more accepting. So, you never know how your feelings will change. I wish you the best and stay in touch!

Hey Double 007 what you describe here is quite common. Men who try things with men but have been brainwashed (deep down) to think it's unhealthy or wrong or dirty, will do what they feel attracted to only to feel shame after they've done it. Guilt is working alongside societal compulsion to repress those feelings. It's freeing yourself from all this guilt that is difficult, but it can be mastered. Generally a good healthy relationship with one person will make you see how normal it is to want intimacy and romance, and sex from someone of your own gender (if you are gay, that is).