May I rant on your shoulder please?

[BobInTampa]

Well, you can only keep that bottled up inside for so long. You've kinda put yourself in a dilemna emotionally: keep quiet, remain the "fixer/nurturer/adult" or find someone to vent to on what happend, what you're feeling and all the things that go with it.

Bottom line my friend, you can TRY to keep it bottled up - but it's going to come out in one way or another in one form or another. Whether its your "partner," a friend, a family member or some poor unsuspecting stranger - something will trigger the release of what you're holding inside and i'm betting it's NOT going to be pretty. Now, i'm sure you have some friends who can serve as a safety valve - meaning a "readers digest" version of what you're feeling - for you. I know (i was in a 10 year LTR and know how most of your friends think of you as 1/2 of the couple) it can be tough, and i understand your apprehension about letting the cat out of the bag with what's going on, but you know what? YOU DIDN'T CHEAT, LIE and HURT the one you loved. So, why you're worried about how he'll feel when friends and family find out he's been cheating on you for 14 years is HIS PROBLEM - NOT YOURS! One way or the other, he has to own his actions.

Oh, and keeping it bottled up inside 100% only serves as fodder for less-than-ideal ways to aleviate the pain (ie: booze, pain pills, guns, walks into the ocean, etc.)

I'm NOT saying you have to do anything right this minute, and i know you feel your world's come undone, but you can't keep it 100% bottled up buddy!