Friends with benefits

[leonardo8]

Practicing coming out with His social circles will help you decide if you want to venture further with your own.

Well, I don't really just want to invite myself to hang out with him and his friends. Especially if he doesn't want his friends knowing about me. That would be kind of awkward for them to ask who I was and how he knows me, and us just be like "Oh, we're fuckbuddies..."

Especially since I'm not out. I'm not so sure I'd be comfortable with letting a bunch of people that are in his "social circle" know about me. It's not that I don't think they would be accepting or anything (obviously they would be), but I've just gotten comfortable with accepting the fact that I'm bi to myself, so I don't think I'm ready just yet to let a bunch of people know.

Plus, I have gay friends and I've gone out with them and been around their "crowd" and I've never really been comfortable with it. I'm just not into the whole in-your-face, super flamboyant, GAY gay scene. Not that there's anything wrong with it at all, it's just not for me. That's part of the reason I like him, he's the very normal, non-feminine, probably wouldn't know he was gay type. But my point is, it's always awkward when I've gone out with my gay friends and all the guys at the bars ask me if I'm gay. I say no, but I know I'm lying. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't know if he would even be comfortable or willing to put up with someone like me, who isn't out at all yet, seeing as he's been out and part of the gay community for a very long time. And since I'm not out, I just don't think I'd be very comfortable hanging out with his friends, who are a big group of gay guys.

I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it. The more I do, the more I tell myself it's an absolutely ridiculous idea to even consider. But, like I said before, I can't get him off my mind, so it's hard to just throw the idea of pursuing more out the window. It's just challenging to be okay with pursuing more with all of my particular circumstances getting in the way.