09-21-2012, 08:11 AM
It may be more than one process, but it's not standard projection (which is perceiving one's own traits that one is ashamed of in others so as to not acknowledge it in one's self, usually at a subconscious level). And "hypocrisy" doesn't work either, what I want is to research this and I need a TECHNICAL term to do that with.
Here are some examples that I'm going to try to keep as simple as possible (hopefully I don't need to explain further):
Potheads and boozers who are proud of their lifestyle (so no projection needed) yet hold each other in contempt.
Someone who proudly talks of watching porn and yet also slut shames women, including the women in the porn s/he enjoys.
Similarly, a woman (as one confessed to being back when she was a Christian) who would retain her "purity/virginity" while frequently having other forms of sex but if a woman had vaginal sex outside of marriage even once then she gleefully slut-shamed them. Perhaps the way some exotic dancers make a big point of hating prostitutes might also count.
Baptists, Pentecostals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics that all look down on each other, and no this isn't over disagreements but they really dislike each other (if I have to explain then it's gonna be TLDR, just trust me, this is NOT just over doctrine, it's deeper than that). Likewise, one Russian Orthodox thought her own church she was raised in was uniquely loved by God while all other Russian Orthodox were poor cousins and other Eastern Orthodox was just wrong and any form of Western Christianity was pure heresy.
Oklahoma and Texas. No, I do NOT believe it's because of the 2 college football teams (that's just the excuse, and no other out of state college football team generates that kind of hostility), and the states are almost IDENTICAL in attitude, social values, politics, and yet there is some real hate there that I find utterly mystifying (and I've asked, no one seems to know, other than the guess about the football teams since that's when both states tend to actually become the most violent toward each other, or even their own who even happen to be wearing the colors of the other teams). To me these 2 states hating each other is like seeing twins with the same exact values being hardcore enemies.
I visited a place for a short while that got a lot of white supremacist groups, and sometimes 2 groups would get into a fight over who the "real white power" was. In the case of the gayskins I guess I can see why the others were upset with them, but not why say White Aryan Resistance and one of the skinhead groups actually got into a gunfight over it (granted I wasn't there but from what I saw of them I found what I heard totally believable, and in any case there WERE shots fired that pierced a water pipe and caused it to be shut down for repairs). I understand racist groups for other races can also have similar violent sentiments to each other (I don't mean to include those in which there's conflict over money).
Some gays are offended by bisexuals or those who practice "gender treachery" (like queens, "flamers," and bulldykes). I don't mean to include those who don't want to hook up for whatever reason but actually hold them in contempt and don't want them in the community.
And for a more complicated example that may (or may not) be related to some or all the above there's my Aunt last summer (2011) who is on her 3rd husband and had kids by each one who tried to shame me (and saying it was "suspicious") for not having been married even once or having any children at all. I suspect that deep down they know I'm a lesbian but don't want to ask me outright because they also know if they ask then I'd answer truthfully and then they'd have to deal with it, as well as me causing negative rumors for the family again. And it's also possible she's familiar with the Bible and knows that I might point out that Jesus said if a man divorced a woman for any other reason than her cheating on him then God doesn't recognize it, in which case she's either an adulteress (hopefully reformed after doing it twice) or she's living in sin as much as any lesbian by being married to a 3rd man (and given that her current husband is also divorced then the same criteria exists for him as well, and if he divorced his last wife for any other reason than adultery then they're both living in sin). In any case I hit a nerve when I pointed out she was on her 3rd husband with kids by each one (and "therefore an expert" on telling me how to marry and start a family) and I think she was tempted to get violent with me (I recall preparing for such an attack which meant something about her body language made me wary). OTOH, maybe it was just my insolence she was responding to (she agreed with others in my family that California had corrupted me and I should move back and she resorted to profanity when I said, "Living here would push me to religion, probably Wicca.") I suspect her hostility to me was similar to the proud boozer to the pothead.
So what are the terms I'm looking for? :confused:
Here are some examples that I'm going to try to keep as simple as possible (hopefully I don't need to explain further):
Potheads and boozers who are proud of their lifestyle (so no projection needed) yet hold each other in contempt.
Someone who proudly talks of watching porn and yet also slut shames women, including the women in the porn s/he enjoys.
Similarly, a woman (as one confessed to being back when she was a Christian) who would retain her "purity/virginity" while frequently having other forms of sex but if a woman had vaginal sex outside of marriage even once then she gleefully slut-shamed them. Perhaps the way some exotic dancers make a big point of hating prostitutes might also count.
Baptists, Pentecostals, Jehovah's Witnesses, Catholics that all look down on each other, and no this isn't over disagreements but they really dislike each other (if I have to explain then it's gonna be TLDR, just trust me, this is NOT just over doctrine, it's deeper than that). Likewise, one Russian Orthodox thought her own church she was raised in was uniquely loved by God while all other Russian Orthodox were poor cousins and other Eastern Orthodox was just wrong and any form of Western Christianity was pure heresy.
Oklahoma and Texas. No, I do NOT believe it's because of the 2 college football teams (that's just the excuse, and no other out of state college football team generates that kind of hostility), and the states are almost IDENTICAL in attitude, social values, politics, and yet there is some real hate there that I find utterly mystifying (and I've asked, no one seems to know, other than the guess about the football teams since that's when both states tend to actually become the most violent toward each other, or even their own who even happen to be wearing the colors of the other teams). To me these 2 states hating each other is like seeing twins with the same exact values being hardcore enemies.
I visited a place for a short while that got a lot of white supremacist groups, and sometimes 2 groups would get into a fight over who the "real white power" was. In the case of the gayskins I guess I can see why the others were upset with them, but not why say White Aryan Resistance and one of the skinhead groups actually got into a gunfight over it (granted I wasn't there but from what I saw of them I found what I heard totally believable, and in any case there WERE shots fired that pierced a water pipe and caused it to be shut down for repairs). I understand racist groups for other races can also have similar violent sentiments to each other (I don't mean to include those in which there's conflict over money).
Some gays are offended by bisexuals or those who practice "gender treachery" (like queens, "flamers," and bulldykes). I don't mean to include those who don't want to hook up for whatever reason but actually hold them in contempt and don't want them in the community.
And for a more complicated example that may (or may not) be related to some or all the above there's my Aunt last summer (2011) who is on her 3rd husband and had kids by each one who tried to shame me (and saying it was "suspicious") for not having been married even once or having any children at all. I suspect that deep down they know I'm a lesbian but don't want to ask me outright because they also know if they ask then I'd answer truthfully and then they'd have to deal with it, as well as me causing negative rumors for the family again. And it's also possible she's familiar with the Bible and knows that I might point out that Jesus said if a man divorced a woman for any other reason than her cheating on him then God doesn't recognize it, in which case she's either an adulteress (hopefully reformed after doing it twice) or she's living in sin as much as any lesbian by being married to a 3rd man (and given that her current husband is also divorced then the same criteria exists for him as well, and if he divorced his last wife for any other reason than adultery then they're both living in sin). In any case I hit a nerve when I pointed out she was on her 3rd husband with kids by each one (and "therefore an expert" on telling me how to marry and start a family) and I think she was tempted to get violent with me (I recall preparing for such an attack which meant something about her body language made me wary). OTOH, maybe it was just my insolence she was responding to (she agreed with others in my family that California had corrupted me and I should move back and she resorted to profanity when I said, "Living here would push me to religion, probably Wicca.") I suspect her hostility to me was similar to the proud boozer to the pothead.
So what are the terms I'm looking for? :confused:
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
