10-08-2012, 01:21 AM
Are gay men capable of monogamy?
Some are - I suspect that those who can count their sexual exploits (partners) on one or two hands are more prone to being attached to people and need sex to take place in the context of love, caring, commitment.
I suspect those that are more 'active' view sex as something else - a mere handshake - nothing really connected to it, thus the need for monogamy just doesn't exist there.
I for one am a monogamous gay male - When I'm with a man I might consider for a moment potentials of stepping out of that relationship for sex on the side, but do it - never.
I'm sorry.
Over the past month I have ridden a roller coaster of emotions. About two weeks ago (feels like a decade, feels like ten minutes ago) My ex decided to call one of my gal-pals (AKA fag-hag) and tell her that I slept around on him :eek: !
Thus was a shit storm of anger.
We are currently in a state of indifference to one another with occasional bouts of me wanting to make him stop doing that annoying thing he does, you know - breathing..... :tongue:
I think the largest mistake I made in this relationship was breaking my vow to never be in a relationship with an HIV positive person. Two years in he tested positive lied, and lied some more, then about 5 years after the fact he 'confessed' that he had gone out and tweaked with his ex.
IF I had been smart I should have listened to my gut when he came home with a positive on his test score. I knew that that was wrong, that something major had taken place. But I allowed myself to explain it away and stuck it out actually believing it was a one off deal.
12 years after that I discovered that it wasn't a one off, just business as usual.
My advice would be listen to your gut and find evidence and present him with it.
Move on if he has been up to his old tricks. Seriously.
Some are - I suspect that those who can count their sexual exploits (partners) on one or two hands are more prone to being attached to people and need sex to take place in the context of love, caring, commitment.
I suspect those that are more 'active' view sex as something else - a mere handshake - nothing really connected to it, thus the need for monogamy just doesn't exist there.
I for one am a monogamous gay male - When I'm with a man I might consider for a moment potentials of stepping out of that relationship for sex on the side, but do it - never.
OlderButWiser Wrote:
Replaces BA with OlderbutWiser and sits back waiting on the Tsunami to pass
Man that thread is so spookily close to what Im going through right now, even down to how Im feeling.....
I'm sorry.
Over the past month I have ridden a roller coaster of emotions. About two weeks ago (feels like a decade, feels like ten minutes ago) My ex decided to call one of my gal-pals (AKA fag-hag) and tell her that I slept around on him :eek: !
Thus was a shit storm of anger.
We are currently in a state of indifference to one another with occasional bouts of me wanting to make him stop doing that annoying thing he does, you know - breathing..... :tongue:
I think the largest mistake I made in this relationship was breaking my vow to never be in a relationship with an HIV positive person. Two years in he tested positive lied, and lied some more, then about 5 years after the fact he 'confessed' that he had gone out and tweaked with his ex.
IF I had been smart I should have listened to my gut when he came home with a positive on his test score. I knew that that was wrong, that something major had taken place. But I allowed myself to explain it away and stuck it out actually believing it was a one off deal.
12 years after that I discovered that it wasn't a one off, just business as usual.
My advice would be listen to your gut and find evidence and present him with it.
Move on if he has been up to his old tricks. Seriously.
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