The monogamy minority

[KB83]

Again some great points made!

I agree that location and culture plays a huge roll.

Thanks for your post BoblinT , can't say I disagree.
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship and being open with sexual needs is very important.

Interesting point as well regarding the straight swingers clubs Vs gay bath houses.

Great posts guys!

[imitxu]

Again some great points made!

I agree that location and culture plays a huge roll.

Thanks for your post BoblinT , can't say I disagree.
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship and being open with sexual needs is very important.

Interesting point as well regarding the straight swingers clubs Vs gay bath houses.

Great posts guys!

Culture does play a huge roll. I am not ashamed of where I came from. However, I have to say that if I had a choice where I wanted to be born, I would choose Western and Northern Europe and North America.

Vietnamese culture makes monogamy an inherent result of a committed relationship. It is not a choice. I admit that I am a looker. Whenever a good-looking guy passes by, I can't help looking at him. However, when I am with someone I like, even just as a friend, I feel natural not to want to look at other attractive men. I don't know if it is just me or my birth culture ingrains monogamy concept in my mind. It just feels natural.

American culture and European culture are different. People are generally free to do whatever they want as long as they don't violate the laws. They have choices. They can choose to sleep with one person or multiple people without guilt.

To KB83, hence, I believe that when a man who sincerely wants to be with you and only you, you wouldn't need to worry about him cheat on you. A white friend told me that Americans are who they are. They are bound by passions, not traditions. They do what they feel passionate for and they do it till the end.

It is perhaps a generalization, but most Americans I met are like that.

[Lalo]

I am monogamous in my relationships, and always have been. But when I am not in a relationship, I am a slut. (And I use the term sarcastically because I don't believe in its use) I have always said that I believe in "Serial Monogamy" in today's world. As a social construct, monogamy makes sense for developing families and fortifying personal wealth and power. But I don't think that monogamy can be applied to or should be applied to sexuality in general.

[imitxu]

That is cool. I like the American slogan "honesty is the best policy". I hope my future boyfriend will have guts to tell me if he wants to be with me and only me. I don't want him to lie to me to protect my feelings and cheat on me behind my back because he can't resist his nature. I'm romance conservative, and I don't expect any man to be like me especially not in the States, where people are individuals.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

D....hate... And not for the reason you may think....

Its great you are a romance conservative, No problem there. What is troubling is you actually believe people in the states are individuals. They ain't - they go around in groups, and the majority of Americans are trying real hard to be like the rest of the people in their peer group. It is actually worse in America than in other places because Americans will lie through their fucking teeth that they're 'individuals' when conformity and uniformity and being plastic and a clone is actually what the majority do.

I can actually rant for hours on the subject of Americans with their lofty ideals which they do not actually live up to, such as the concept of 'Equality' when they stomp harder on individuals who are different than they do in actually tyrannies.

Hate or date?:tongue:

[pellaz]

its just starting to be that the average joe on the street dosnt care. Relationships, gay or straight, basically the same. The gay population has been excluded from the main stream and lived in the shadow soo long they have developed their own way of coping. I dont think anything good could come from that junk.

-risk free sex is great. I am wiling to self modify my behavior just for that
-boys; with the right husband you can have an easier life, tho with the wrong husband its hell.
-two partners can keep each other on track, manage those addictions.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm so monogamous I remain monogamous even when single...

Oh wait that is a bad thing... never mind.... :tongue:

I honestly believe some people are indeed hardwired for that pairing off and mating for life sort of thing. I tried one night stands and found them to be varies depths of 'unsatisfying'... Granted I only tried twice, maybe three is the charm?

I have to wonder if leaning toward Polygamy over Monogamy (or whatever way) is something one is born with and not really a thing of the society. A lot of other emotions are involved with sex besides lust and pleasure.

Sex itself is not just about one thing for humans, its a form of intimacy, a form of bonding with ones mate, a form of satisfaction/pleasure and it also so happens that under the right circumstances it is also a form of procreation.

Odd how one action can impact so many areas.

[imitxu]

D....hate... And not for the reason you may think....

Its great you are a romance conservative, No problem there. What is troubling is you actually believe people in the states are individuals. They ain't - they go around in groups, and the majority of Americans are trying real hard to be like the rest of the people in their peer group. It is actually worse in America than in other places because Americans will lie through their fucking teeth that they're 'individuals' when conformity and uniformity and being plastic and a clone is actually what the majority do.

I can actually rant for hours on the subject of Americans with their lofty ideals which they do not actually live up to, such as the concept of 'Equality' when they stomp harder on individuals who are different than they do in actually tyrannies.

Hate or date?

Well, I'm not saying that Americans are totally non traditional. They simply don't let tradition control their lives. If tradition negatively gets in their way, they simply let it go without guilt ridden feeling.

For example, some atheists still celebrate Christmas because it is a tradition, and they don't make a big deal about it. However, some find Christmas celebration unacceptable and simply celebrate no more. Their family may try emotional blackmail on them, but they still do what they feel right and don't feel guilty about it.

Personally, I can't do that to my parents. I don't like to visit Buddhist temple anymore, but I have to do it with my parents because it is a tradition in lunar new year. My conscience won't let me rest if I say no to them.

I really admire Americans for their individuality. Passion sometimes doesn't agree with tradition, but many Americans I met (the ones who were born in the States) are able to get over tradition to seek happiness based on their passion.

I only speak from what I see in Americans in California. I don't know how people in other states are.