10-21-2012, 10:28 PM
1. He is an addict. Sorry, you can't fix that for him. He has to be willing abd able to see he has a problem and then start working on that.
The best YOU can do is find an alanon/alateen meeting where YOU go and learn from others how to deal with an alcoholic/addict in your life: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2. He is an addict - yeah sound the same, however addicts rarely have just the issue of drug use/abuse. We addicts tend to have a lot of extra baggage that we are dealing with. Drugs help to make us feel better but at the same time drug use mucks everything else up as we use our addict mentality to deal with situations and our lives.
He isn't going to seek help until he hits bottom.
Seriously, I doubt the threat of separation or breaking up is going to be his bottom. If anything this will only drive him to hiding his issues a bit better while seeking ways to get his fix and do stuff even more.
The addict mind is such that when it is opposed, it lashes out with more of the same.
Mental/Emotional Health issues are troublesome. Most psychiatrists throw prescriptions at the problem and often misdiagnose the patient. I'm one such case where Seasonal Affected Disorder was incorrectly diagnosed as chronic depression and the prescribing doctor threw me on antidepressants that made a bad situation worse - to the point where I purposefully over dosed to the point of death. Stomach pumps, heroic measures (resuscitation) is the only reason why I am here today.
His not wanting to work, his inability to keep a job is most likely a mix of addiction and depression. If a psych refuses to counsel him more than 15 minutes, and he has no therapist then these things will worsen over time.
Since he uses/abuses RX pills then no amount of prescription will help. They will only cause more harm.
You need Alanon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ He needs a therapist, a sit down 1 hour meeting once or twice a week to help him to work through 'crap'. If he is unwilling to go, don't try to force him. He will either sit in silence for that hour or he will B.S. the therapist for an hour.
Alanon will tell you about tough love and they most likely will listen to what you have to say and tell you to move on, move out and drop him. Not because they hate him, but because he needs to do this by himself and not pull you or others down with him. He also needs to find his bottom - be in prison, hospital, institution. There is a point where he will be so deep into his problem he will acknowledge he needs help and then seek that help.
From what you have wrote, I don't think he has reached that point.
The best YOU can do is find an alanon/alateen meeting where YOU go and learn from others how to deal with an alcoholic/addict in your life: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/
2. He is an addict - yeah sound the same, however addicts rarely have just the issue of drug use/abuse. We addicts tend to have a lot of extra baggage that we are dealing with. Drugs help to make us feel better but at the same time drug use mucks everything else up as we use our addict mentality to deal with situations and our lives.
He isn't going to seek help until he hits bottom.
Seriously, I doubt the threat of separation or breaking up is going to be his bottom. If anything this will only drive him to hiding his issues a bit better while seeking ways to get his fix and do stuff even more.
The addict mind is such that when it is opposed, it lashes out with more of the same.
Mental/Emotional Health issues are troublesome. Most psychiatrists throw prescriptions at the problem and often misdiagnose the patient. I'm one such case where Seasonal Affected Disorder was incorrectly diagnosed as chronic depression and the prescribing doctor threw me on antidepressants that made a bad situation worse - to the point where I purposefully over dosed to the point of death. Stomach pumps, heroic measures (resuscitation) is the only reason why I am here today.
His not wanting to work, his inability to keep a job is most likely a mix of addiction and depression. If a psych refuses to counsel him more than 15 minutes, and he has no therapist then these things will worsen over time.
Since he uses/abuses RX pills then no amount of prescription will help. They will only cause more harm.
You need Alanon http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ He needs a therapist, a sit down 1 hour meeting once or twice a week to help him to work through 'crap'. If he is unwilling to go, don't try to force him. He will either sit in silence for that hour or he will B.S. the therapist for an hour.
Alanon will tell you about tough love and they most likely will listen to what you have to say and tell you to move on, move out and drop him. Not because they hate him, but because he needs to do this by himself and not pull you or others down with him. He also needs to find his bottom - be in prison, hospital, institution. There is a point where he will be so deep into his problem he will acknowledge he needs help and then seek that help.
From what you have wrote, I don't think he has reached that point.
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