How are you today?

[Mrmatty376]

I'm doing well today. In a desperate attempt to get away and run from my painful thoughts and memories I went way up north to the tip of the island to spend the day at the beach with some "friends". The day went well, although we got rained on, it didn't matter much since we were standing in the blue ocean anyways. The day went well, but I was still unable to escape my racing thoughts of him. Every little thing reminded me of him or wanted to spend that moment with him. I wanted to spend the day with him. I wanted hi to see the colorful carp streamers that blew with the wind. I wanted him to see the giant mountains covered in thick jungle. I wanted him to see the ocean, the vast blue water and the colorful reefs that nestle beneath. I wanted him to see the fog as it clung to the tops of the mountains as if afraid to let go. I wanted him to see the flock of blue birds fly out of the trees as we sped past. I wanted him to stand with me in the blue waters as the rain poured down on us. I wanted to stand with him at the edge of the island and look at the blue horizon and the seemingly endless ocean as the sun broke through the dark clouds.
It was hard to have the same feeling with these people as they walk along their own paths, not side by side but feet apart. I wasn't able to share with them my feelings of the beauty. I wasn't able to feel the warmth of love of a friend. Although there were many of us, I felt completely alone. Sitting on the most northern rock, looking into the distance, made me feel as if this island was my own personal prison and everyone standing around me was an empty body, incapable of compassion and love. At least towards me.
But it was a beautiful day. I just couldn't run away from my emotions. Now I have to go to work and deal with reality again.
Sorry for the long post...emotional rants can get kind of lengthy...