How are you today?

[southbiochem]

Feeling really low today... Jus want to disappear so no one can bother me..

You're not alone, GS familly is with you at all times

OK..

Can I be honest? cause you know...I want to vent stuff, but not bother anyone for advice so I'm not doing a thread..

I'm not doing good. I haven't been doing good for a while.

I am simply too tired of being lonely and the most crushing thing is that it's self-inflicted.

I won't go as far as saying I should have put on a rainbow t-shirt and let everyone know..

but college, all in all, was a safe environment for me to have done it, maybe not tell everyone, not my family, but people there Pretty much everyone of these generations are "you're gay? *shrugs*...it's just not a big deal. I should have done it!

I have put myself into this situation, cause people seem to think (and it's been discussed on account of my lack of GF) that it's practically unthinkable I could be gay...I have never bothered to correct them, so more than any ill reaction towards my orientation, I would get scolded for letting them think that all these years..

Also, experience...and I'm not talking about me being a f*cking virgin. I'm talking about I haven't even kissed someone.. and let's not begin with relationship experience.

So let's say I do it. Guys my age, let's face it, have some mileage on them. I'm hard pressed to think that my utter inexperience would be an appealing trait.

I know I'm not a lost case, I have my perks and my flaws like we all do. I have good marketable traits, but I undermined myself with my choices..

All I do now is work, I'm damn good, mind you...but I feel like it doesn't serve any purpose more than paying bills and filling my time. I'm beggining to think that to just do this and have no other type of life what so ever seems pointless