02-23-2014, 01:42 AM
No, I was a lot like you... 
.
I only came out after I had a boyfriend. I realize now that I lied by omission, but I don't feel guilty, I feel like I have a right to my personal privacy. Like you, I also never came out at school, and while I longed too I think it was the right choice. My school was religious, and while a huge amount of progress was made in regards to making it a safe place, confronting the harassment that coming out might have sparked would have required me to make complaints that would have reached my homophobic father, who I lived with at the time.
It IS easier once your family does know your sexuality, but it is equally difficult to come out.
It might be a good idea to set yourself some sort of deadline. For example, if you never get a boyfriend for whatever reason (I know, it's a depressing thought), you will eventually have to come out through the "I am gay" route, rather than the "I have a boyfriend route". I do recommend coming out because it relieved a lot of tension and stress... but if you'd be in any sort of danger, don't. And don't feel bad about it --- you aren't the one with a problem.
My advice is to come out when you are ready, and in the meantime not to miss out on any opportunities. If an opportunity for a boyfriend appears, do not let fear cause you to miss it.
I think your decision to not come out to your family is fine. If it's the right choice for you, it's as simple as that.
.I only came out after I had a boyfriend. I realize now that I lied by omission, but I don't feel guilty, I feel like I have a right to my personal privacy. Like you, I also never came out at school, and while I longed too I think it was the right choice. My school was religious, and while a huge amount of progress was made in regards to making it a safe place, confronting the harassment that coming out might have sparked would have required me to make complaints that would have reached my homophobic father, who I lived with at the time.
It IS easier once your family does know your sexuality, but it is equally difficult to come out.
It might be a good idea to set yourself some sort of deadline. For example, if you never get a boyfriend for whatever reason (I know, it's a depressing thought), you will eventually have to come out through the "I am gay" route, rather than the "I have a boyfriend route". I do recommend coming out because it relieved a lot of tension and stress... but if you'd be in any sort of danger, don't. And don't feel bad about it --- you aren't the one with a problem.
My advice is to come out when you are ready, and in the meantime not to miss out on any opportunities. If an opportunity for a boyfriend appears, do not let fear cause you to miss it.
I think your decision to not come out to your family is fine. If it's the right choice for you, it's as simple as that.
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