The Gay World

[50Plus]

He's 25 and after we had seen each other a few times he started dropping comments like "I wish I had come out at your age, I feel like I've missed so much", to which I obviously replied "Well, you're 25. You have many years of youth left, isn't it a bit too early to hit a mid-life crisis?"

He went silent for a while and then said "In the gay world, I went from youth to middle-age years ago".
Whether it be at a gay bar, or just walking past a pride parade, whenever I meet other gay guys aged 25-30 they somehow hint at feeling old already.

I'm not saying I agree full-heartedly or anything but it bothers me when there appears to be a phenomenon that makes perfectly handsome and young 25-year olds feel too old to be desirable.

I've always been sort of distanced from the idea that youth has to necessarily be the best part of life, since I enjoy so many things in the world that aren't related to the condition of my body.

In all honesty, he did go from youth to middle age. The years of 15 - 25 are critical to one's development - more so for men than women. They are the carefree times when you are exploring alcohol, drugs, rock and roll, politics, sex, sexuality and everything else that sets you up for the rest of your life.

25 is also the time when most are finished university and are getting their feet planted in the employment world. It also starts kicking in the actions to find that mate, settle down, etc.. Not everyone does this, some resist and either never grow up but follow an alternate path to the future (travel, etc.)

But it is widespread and has been tracked by demographers and social scientists.

What many experience around that age (for women it can be pushed back in to the 30's) is not that they are less desirable. Its that they now need to grow up and start living an adult life. That is a horrid thought for those at that age. I got engaged, disengaged and traveled to Australia when I was 25.

What you may be seeing is merely a bandaid or a mask over what the real problem is - growing up. That thought scares the shit out of so many.

The older - younger attraction you mentioned has nothing to do with this. That is just sad.