08-30-2014, 05:34 PM
Trust. Often I think saying I trust you is just as important as saying I love you. It takes a certain amount of trust to be physically intimate with people too.
My first observation was noticing that you didn't mention having any sort of fear of intimacy issues with your ex wife. Did you have a difficult time opening yourself to physical intimacy with a women? You might examine if this is an issue you feel only when you want to have a physical relationship with men. Does this fear have something to do with admitting bisexuality to yourself? (No judgement, just a question.)
Keep taking it slowly. Cam sex is great fun. It has a built in invisible wall that maintains eye contact without actual physical touch. The next step is actually meeting someone in real life. And I'd suggest a date first... coffee, lunch, dinner, a movie? Take it slow. This date doesn't have to be about finding the love of your life, more about moving closer to actual body proximity. Getting comfortable being close to another man without going the whole nine yards. Just make it clear to the guy that what you want is only a date, not a prelude to sex.
As for first time contact you might want to try meeting someone who exclusively likes mutual masturbation. Touching yourself in front of another guy, watching him jerk himself off right beside you or in a chair across from you without actually touching is another step toward physical intimacy.
Try to shift your mindset from shame and fear to excitement. You're learning new things about yourself. You're pushing boundaries. You're growing. That's exciting stuff. Sure it can be scary. Allow that, you can be scared. But remember the excitement of it too.
There's nothing to be ashamed of here, by the way. Well, rude behavior to other members isn't admired here, but there is no shame in asking questions. Welcome to the forum.
My first observation was noticing that you didn't mention having any sort of fear of intimacy issues with your ex wife. Did you have a difficult time opening yourself to physical intimacy with a women? You might examine if this is an issue you feel only when you want to have a physical relationship with men. Does this fear have something to do with admitting bisexuality to yourself? (No judgement, just a question.)
Keep taking it slowly. Cam sex is great fun. It has a built in invisible wall that maintains eye contact without actual physical touch. The next step is actually meeting someone in real life. And I'd suggest a date first... coffee, lunch, dinner, a movie? Take it slow. This date doesn't have to be about finding the love of your life, more about moving closer to actual body proximity. Getting comfortable being close to another man without going the whole nine yards. Just make it clear to the guy that what you want is only a date, not a prelude to sex.
As for first time contact you might want to try meeting someone who exclusively likes mutual masturbation. Touching yourself in front of another guy, watching him jerk himself off right beside you or in a chair across from you without actually touching is another step toward physical intimacy.
Try to shift your mindset from shame and fear to excitement. You're learning new things about yourself. You're pushing boundaries. You're growing. That's exciting stuff. Sure it can be scary. Allow that, you can be scared. But remember the excitement of it too.
There's nothing to be ashamed of here, by the way. Well, rude behavior to other members isn't admired here, but there is no shame in asking questions. Welcome to the forum.
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