People Asking For Money

[East]

I don't have all the answers to all the questions here, but I did want to address one thing because it comes up a LOT and I think it's something that sorta "divides" people in terms of their attitude about giving to others.

If you choose to give, do it because you want to help the person who's in a bad situation. Not because you feel assured (or not assured) that it will be put to a specific "good use." This doesn't just apply to panhandlers of course... many people (wisely) give the advice that if you loan or give money to family or friends... regard it as a gift. Don't keep tabs on what they spend it on, and don't expect to be paid back. Part with it only if you are okay with the possibility of never seeing it again, and possibly finding out it was spent on something you wouldn't have regarded as a good thing to spend on.

Too often I feel that "they'll probably just use it for booze/drugs" is too many people's justification for never giving or helping, and even for opposing safety nets or programs that give or help. There's no guarantee when you give to a panhandler they won't use it to get liquor or something-- just like there's no guarantee your friend won't when he asks to borrow $20, or you won't when you get $50 in a card for your birthday from your aunt. Remember that plenty of "normal", functional everyday people are chemically dependant as well-- even if it's very well hidden.

So long story short... do it if you want to make their day a little tiny bit easier and you feel comfortable parting with the money. You're giving to an individual, not to a charity devoted to spending money for a specific "constructive cause", so it's just an individual act of generosity. There's no way to know how it will be used by any stranger, and so your giving shouldn't be contingent on how they'll use it, just on your wish to help.

Like you, I'd also like to hear a good way to avoid (without just rudely ignoring) panhandlers when I am not comfortable giving. I've never found a good way apart from lying.

I always regard any money I "loan" as a gift and my deciding factor is that if I wouldn't give it to them I won't loan it to them. When the money leaves my hands it leaves my mind. I am not sure but I think probably most everything I have ever loaned anyone I have gotten back...