11-08-2008, 08:41 PM
Hi Babyboy and welcome to GS.
Fred may be new here, but he's certainly made an impression with some well-informed and helpful posts and this one is no exception.
I wonder if you are as much of a secret as you think? I know plenty of men who believe they give off straight vibes, but other people often perceive them quite differently
If you've been smitten with feelings for this man it is unlikely that you will have been able to disguise them completely. His comments may have been a bit of self-preservation on his part and an attempt at being kind to you. Far better for you to be told in no uncertain terms at this stage of things than for you to feel later that he was stringing you along.
I agree with Fred that you could do with a gay mate or two. With some well-connected friends you would soon be pulled into a social circle. It's a pity you're not in London, otherwise I'm sure that BiPenny would introduce you to everyone
Without the aid of the fabulous BiPenny, you may have to do a little leg work yourself. Have you come across Breakout in Nottingham? They appear to be a social group for gay and bi men with a range of activities planned. Have a look at Breakout in Nottingham
You may find something there to interest you.
The emotional response to a crush can be devastating and very disruptive. As Fred said, we've all been there :redface: and most of us have survived
mile: The good news is you can have him all to yourself in those private fantasy moments before you drop off to sleep at night, but in real life, you know you will have to let him go. He can't be what you want and you have the good sense to realise this.
Best wishes to you, Babyboy and I hope it stops hurting soon. I'm sure there are people on here willing to discuss any further points you want to raise, but another way of looking at this is to accept that you now know you are capable of having an emotional response like this to another human being. That has got to be a good thing. All you need now is to stumble across one who is capable of loving you too.
I hope you weren't being serious about marrying a woman. Some of us here have been down this road and it does not lead to happiness.
Fred may be new here, but he's certainly made an impression with some well-informed and helpful posts and this one is no exception.
I wonder if you are as much of a secret as you think? I know plenty of men who believe they give off straight vibes, but other people often perceive them quite differently
If you've been smitten with feelings for this man it is unlikely that you will have been able to disguise them completely. His comments may have been a bit of self-preservation on his part and an attempt at being kind to you. Far better for you to be told in no uncertain terms at this stage of things than for you to feel later that he was stringing you along.
I agree with Fred that you could do with a gay mate or two. With some well-connected friends you would soon be pulled into a social circle. It's a pity you're not in London, otherwise I'm sure that BiPenny would introduce you to everyone
Without the aid of the fabulous BiPenny, you may have to do a little leg work yourself. Have you come across Breakout in Nottingham? They appear to be a social group for gay and bi men with a range of activities planned. Have a look at Breakout in Nottingham
You may find something there to interest you.
The emotional response to a crush can be devastating and very disruptive. As Fred said, we've all been there :redface: and most of us have survived
mile: The good news is you can have him all to yourself in those private fantasy moments before you drop off to sleep at night, but in real life, you know you will have to let him go. He can't be what you want and you have the good sense to realise this.Best wishes to you, Babyboy and I hope it stops hurting soon. I'm sure there are people on here willing to discuss any further points you want to raise, but another way of looking at this is to accept that you now know you are capable of having an emotional response like this to another human being. That has got to be a good thing. All you need now is to stumble across one who is capable of loving you too.
I hope you weren't being serious about marrying a woman. Some of us here have been down this road and it does not lead to happiness.
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