11-10-2008, 11:36 AM
Hokay, this is most definitely a multi-part scenario ...
If we were to remove this guy from the equation temporarily, I'd like to know a bit more about how you feel AS a self-accepted gay man (a closeted one, fine, but you accept in and of yourself that you are a homosexual yup ?) when that is contrasted against your family's strong anti-homosexual views. Are you potentially in-line for an arranged marriage further down the line ? Or is that not a practise that your family is keen on going forward with ? I might be a bit out of touch with Indian practices, so sorry if I appear at all ignorant :redface:.
Secondly, my GUT feeling is that if this lad feels you are a "great guy" as he puts it, then he would be QUITE put out if he were to realise he had offended you with his anti-homosexual comments, so you can derive a measure of solace from, to my mind, thinking that he was just perhaps trying to be either funny or topical I guess, with what he said. In EITHER case he demonstrated that he is also capable of being ignorant (but then again, hand-on-heart, who out of ANY of us can say that they aren't ignorant of things from time to time - I certainly can't).
With regard to your feelings for him ? BELIEVE me I know how that goes ... unrequited love is a subject I am aaaaaaaaaaaaall too familiar with, and as the boys have already told you, it's quite commonplace for homosexual males to develop amorous feelings for heterosexual males ... I always look at things as being simple, and to my mind its almost mathematically simple.
Every straight boy is a top. Topping is (to my mind) the most masculine of all sexual activities, and so there is a definite APPEAL that heterosexual men have about them, to people like myself and others.
But having said that there are a number of points in life at which we are placed at definite, and clearly identifiable, crossroads.
You have a number of paths you could take, each of which will lead you off in a different direction. You could follow your feelings for this lad, which would be true to yourself, but STATISTICALLY-speaking, the odds ARE against anything happening (even though you may well become good friends); you could rule-off on him which WILL hurt you in the shorter-term, but it will ALSO protect your heart in the longer-term from this situation taking its toll; and there are other options as well ...
... one thing I CAN assure you is that we are all behind you, and you CAN come to us to discuss this, or anything else that's on your mind babe
mile:.
Welcome to Gayspeak.
xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
If we were to remove this guy from the equation temporarily, I'd like to know a bit more about how you feel AS a self-accepted gay man (a closeted one, fine, but you accept in and of yourself that you are a homosexual yup ?) when that is contrasted against your family's strong anti-homosexual views. Are you potentially in-line for an arranged marriage further down the line ? Or is that not a practise that your family is keen on going forward with ? I might be a bit out of touch with Indian practices, so sorry if I appear at all ignorant :redface:.
Secondly, my GUT feeling is that if this lad feels you are a "great guy" as he puts it, then he would be QUITE put out if he were to realise he had offended you with his anti-homosexual comments, so you can derive a measure of solace from, to my mind, thinking that he was just perhaps trying to be either funny or topical I guess, with what he said. In EITHER case he demonstrated that he is also capable of being ignorant (but then again, hand-on-heart, who out of ANY of us can say that they aren't ignorant of things from time to time - I certainly can't).
With regard to your feelings for him ? BELIEVE me I know how that goes ... unrequited love is a subject I am aaaaaaaaaaaaall too familiar with, and as the boys have already told you, it's quite commonplace for homosexual males to develop amorous feelings for heterosexual males ... I always look at things as being simple, and to my mind its almost mathematically simple.
Every straight boy is a top. Topping is (to my mind) the most masculine of all sexual activities, and so there is a definite APPEAL that heterosexual men have about them, to people like myself and others.
But having said that there are a number of points in life at which we are placed at definite, and clearly identifiable, crossroads.
You have a number of paths you could take, each of which will lead you off in a different direction. You could follow your feelings for this lad, which would be true to yourself, but STATISTICALLY-speaking, the odds ARE against anything happening (even though you may well become good friends); you could rule-off on him which WILL hurt you in the shorter-term, but it will ALSO protect your heart in the longer-term from this situation taking its toll; and there are other options as well ...
... one thing I CAN assure you is that we are all behind you, and you CAN come to us to discuss this, or anything else that's on your mind babe
mile:.Welcome to Gayspeak.
xx
!?!?! Shadow !?!?!
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
