I Dont Know When

[CrossNecklace]

Thanks marshlander.

Last night my brother and i talked. i couldn't actually tell him that i'm gay. i just couldn't say it. so instead i told him i was going to text him. i texted him first saying "i made mom and dad cry". he asked why and kinda laughing. He said do you have cancer or something. i just laughed it off. then i texted him saying "i know you already know im gay but i told them im gay." he asked if i was serious. i started crying again and that's when he realized i wasnt joking. i told him everything and how my mom and dad worries for me and how my mom says not to tell my friends. i was crying so much. i told him about the meeting too and he offers to come with me. but i told him i need to do it myself. then i just went to sleep.

this morning my friend that texted me last night stopped by. but i couldn't really talk to her. she just played games with my bro. then my bro leaves for school and she asks if i needed to be alone. i told her yes and that i might call her after the meeting.

after she leaves, my mom came into the room. she would ask why i'd say such things and that it isn't true because i dont act like it. she asked if i was having feelings for a guy. i thought maybe she thought that i was seeing a guy so i said no. she asked if i was having trouble liking a girl. i just shrugged. she was tearing up. she then says that me and my bros can tell her and my dad anything. and that they would support me anyhow. but she keeps mentioning to straighten up and that it isnt true. i couldnt look her straight in the eyes. well i didnt look any of them straight in the eyes when i told them. its just tough.

i think things will get a bit better after this meeting at 7. i just need to find myself right now.