I Dont Know When

[princealbertofb]

Alvin, I am so glad for you. So proud too, as you already know. It will only get easier to deal with the fact as you take things one day at a time, one friend at a time... People are not stupid (sometimes just ignorant) and your family does sound very supportive. As Marshlander said, you've had plenty of time to come to the idea that you are gay... I know you were not sure and did not want to be gay, but your parents have only just learnt.... And even if in their heart of hearts they knew you were gay, there is such a thing as self delusion: a factor that will make parents almost wittingly ignore the evidence. Well, you say you did not act especially feminine and that you've had a girlfriend, so neither of these facts actually pointed to your being gay, did they?
I was just thinking, to forward the matter a bit, that there are groups for parents of gay men too, support groups like PFLAG, and I'm sure such a group exists in your city. This is something that you might ask the others of your meeting group next time you go. Then maybe you could tell your parents that these groups exist, where they can go and ask questions, and explain their situation, and maybe learn to understand how to cope with it better and come to terms with it, and how eventually to become proud of their gay son. It is nothing to be ashamed of and they need some support to help them change their mindset.
They need to rest assured that you are still the same person you were before, just as responsible and just as caring and loving. I hope your moments of depression over the whole thing are gradually changing into a feeling of pride and of contentment, as you have seen your parents and siblings support you too. That is more than some gay young men get, but that's how it ought to be. Rejoice in the fact that you will be able to be yourself and not tell anyone any lies about who you are.
This said, it does not mean you have to go and tell every Tom, Dick and Harry that you're gay. Just tell people when you feel comfortable telling them, and when you think they will be comfortable being told.

I too had a private little cry at reading your story. It so reminds me of my own coming out to my mum. Bless her. I did not expect such a good response. She's had a hard time dealing with my younger brother's death.

Bless you Alvin, and talk to you soon, I hope, to know a bit more detail about how the meeting went and what you were able to exchange with the other folks there.
from me a big big
PA