Lost...isolated...and afraid

[dwightc]

have you tried professional help

anytime I hear this, I feel like I'm crazy and insane. Which I probably am. I'll admit, I've done some insane retarded things before because of this. Like trying to cast black magic to kill myself. See? crazy. Yeah I know what you're thinking insane loony bastard. This explains my lack of social skills now.

I can't describe how I feel right now :'( A part of me wants to look up and crawl to the other side of the light that shines and go too it, but the rest of me wants to remain in the darkness, wondering if this is just a mask.
Are you sure people will like me if I try to come out? I mean, I know I'm the worst person alive. I've tried to be a social and talk with people, after a few moments they realize I'm not the person they'd like to to keep in contact with. Something about me makes me unwanted to everyone. I've narrowed it down to two things: Gay
appearance. Maybe the to just don't match. I do't know for sure. All I know is that darker half always finds a way to pull me back into the darkness.