Lost...isolated...and afraid

[IanSaysHi]

Have to say, you write well. Very descriptive. Maybe keep venting these emotions into writing because you seem to have the ability.

I was the same when I was a little younger than you, however I also had a sense of humour that got me through. I had to take little baby steps in making friends; because of my horrible time at school I'd not built the best set of social skills so I had to test what was appropriate and inappropriate to say around the various people who started to enter my life.

Work was a major factor in getting me out of my shell; I find that the right job means you can meet new people, make friends and if you put in enough hard work you'll get back some appreciation and validation which it sounds like you need. People will often say "yeah but my job sucks and no-one there likes me and bla bla bla" - you just have to find the right one.

My main point is - baby steps. Celebrate the smallest wins. Keep a diary or some way to vent these negative feelings. Coming here will help, they're a good bunch