Dating/Friendship Advice

[meridannight]

In terms of communicating with him, how should i approach it? don't text him unless he texts me, or usually give him a few days of space? I dont want him to feel as if im pressuring him, he's respected my opinions and i want to respect his too.

you have to go by what feels right to you. there is no right or wrong out of context. different situations and different guys call for different approach. you should be able to intuit what's more or less right/wrong under the circumstances. and, of course, a lot of it has to do with the chemistry between you two, or how you guys fit together.

one of the most important things, in my opinion, is not to resort to artificially modifying your behavior. if you want to text/call him, then do that. don't fall into the habit of thinking that he has to initiate things. hopefully, you both will do it. but if, at times, you are doing more initiating than he is, then that on its own is not necessarily a problem. don't start counting who calls more or things like that. it's mostly useless.

go with what comes naturally and feels good to you. you have to be yourself and act like yourself in order to get an adequate gauge on your friendship. if you're in doubt about what he might think then let him know where you're coming from. communicate with one another. friendship is an important thing. sometimes it comes easy, sometimes it takes more work. don't be turned off by the perspective of talking things through if the occasion calls for it.

even the simple question you asked us -- whether you should initiate texting with him or should wait for him to -- you should be asking him this. it's not anything weird. just ask him what he thinks about it -- does he like the way things are going? does he want to do something differently? does he need space sometimes? tell him e.g. that you love talking to him but that you don't want to pressure him at the same time. that's a perfectly legitimate concern. talk to him. really talk to him. this is how this thing works. it doesn't work by one party doing the guesswork in the dark and then waiting for the other to do something or explain themselves.

this is how human communication goes. it really doesn't make much difference whether it's between lovers, friends, or relatives. with anybody who is important to you it takes a higher than average degree of openness and honesty with the other person. you have to get over the precautions regarding your comfort and safety, and the wariness of awkwardness.