Dating/Friendship Advice

[pman117]

Hey Guys

So, unfortunately, I kind of like the guy and want to see him more. Respecting what he's wanting, I'm going to maintain this 'friendship', however this is where I feel its kind of confusing.
I do genuinely believe he is a kind and genuine guy , and I somewhat feel like he does like me, however he isn't ready to date.
X

As someone who is going through almost this exact thing at the moment (I want to date, the other guy isn't ready) I know exactly where you are coming from. I am very thankful you posted this as I was about to write a similar one because I have no idea how to handle the situation myself and needed similar advice as well. Having not ever dated someone (or even thought about it for that matter) it's all brand new to me but there's something about this guy that has me all sort of messed up haha.

Anyway, Follow the rest of the guys' advice on here, it seems to be pretty in line with what I have talked about with the guy I'm fond of. He admitted that he likes me and would consider dating but just isn't ready yet. Unfortunately it's all about how to be patient and as someone else already said, 'let things happen on their own.'

I feel like i just want to text and hear him speak everyday, but of course I know im just being needy. I'm trying not to text everyday, i never double text and always wait for him to reply before i reply.

Is it rather stupid that i'm holding on to this, hoping for something that people don't seem to think will work out? I can get through parts of the day really well, and then parts of the day I just wish he would message or initiate something.

1. no it's not stupid. Holding on to feelings about someone, especially one you care for and want to be with is not stupid, at least from the start.
2. From my own current situation, I will say to be careful and even if you you want to spend every second of every day with him and talk with him non stop (I've been struggling with this same thing myself) you need to be careful and remember that trying to force something on him will only push things further apart. Definitely stick with the casual conversations and occasional times you get to hang out without trying to make them too numerous that he feels you're coming on too strong.

MOST IMPORTANTLY as someone else already said: communicate. If he doesn't know how you are progressing there's nothing that you guys can do to remedy the situation. Be careful not to get too emotional either. I nearly fell apart in front of my guy one night confessing how much I liked him (luckily he is super relaxed about these things and understood what I was going through). Any other guy I firmly believe would have ran away screaming. So yea, learn from my mistake. Explore your thoughts and feelings with him, but keep control of them when you do. I was told by a good friend once that "If someones wants to be with you, they will make an effort to do so" and I firmly believe that to be true.

Best of luck, feel free to IM me if you ever want to trade stories or scenarios with me since we're in a similar boat! I can't guarantee I'll be especially helpful since I'm new to this process but sometimes just talking about it helps just as much.