Straight or No?

[tuonda]

First, thank you all for your advice!

I do agree that it is important I find someone who is out and is willing to date. However, the fact of the matter is the two friends that say he's straight don't really know him all to well. It could actually be that he is comfortable with his sexuality but nobody knows because nobody really knows him all too well.

Also, the interactions I have with this guy is very different from the previous one. I just have this special connection when we look at each other and it appears he does too.

It's very hard to find people though. I don't know of any groups in my area (also, I'm not completely out in my area because of personal reasons). At college where everyone knows that I"m gay, the student body is so small that there aren't any guys who are available or the rest aren't very nice people. The LGBT group there is made up of these people.

Essentially, I've never been in a relationship before and I want to make sure the first full blown relationship I'm in is a healthy one. Ideally, I'd love to meet someone in person and develop something with them.

I have in the past resorted to using grindr or tindr but I've gotten into very bad situations with this type of app so I tend to stay away. I found even when people say they want something serious on there they usually aren't being honest. It also is a blow to my self esteem considering I'm bigger and there is a very specific type that people are looking for on those apps.

Anyway, because I've been thinking a lot about this current guy and because I won't see him for about three months, I'm thinking about talking to him and say something along the lines of:

"Hey! So I wanted to talk to you about something but unfortunately we had to leave for the summer. I've been picking up certain vibes and I just notice something different between us when we're around each other. I wanted to know if you've noticed these feelings. I was just wondering and wanted to get your input ".

Even if this turns out horribly, I am prepared to accept that he wasn't "aware" of what he was doing or simply because he's not ready or still unsure of his sexuality. (Honestly, this is probably the most probable result). Do you have anything else you would add or is the message good how it is?

Hopefully I'll be able to shake out of this state where I only attack confused "straight" men and I'll find someone halfway decent who knows what they want.

Thanks again everyone!