Not sleeping when sleeping over

[SkinnyGuy123]

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied - I really wasn't expecting so many people to comment, or so many helpful pieces of advice.

I am wondering if you are not sure just what your partner likes in the way of a bedmate's behavior. Consciously or not, that could make you unsettled [...] The main thing is to get used to your surroundings and your friend's presence. I imagine that beneath the surface, you just don't quite feel at home yet.

LJay I think that could well be it, and subconsciously, even though I feel at ease being in bed with him, I am not yet at the stage where I can fully switch off and sleep without worrying I might disturb him.

I know what you are going through, I had the same problem with my ex, he always liked to cuddle too which made it worse for me. I could feel his heart beat which was like double the speed of mine and hear him breath, it kept me up, really hard getting used to sleeping with someone when your used to sleeping on your own. try sleeping a little bit away from him once he fals asleep, see if that helps.

I like cuddling In fact, the best night sleep I've had with him so far was when we cuddled pretty much the whole night. Some nights it's too warm for that though. I find feeling the heartbeat and hearing someone else breathing quite soothing actually.

Big bed or little bed?

Sorry drobs, I don't "get" American bed sizes... It is a double bed (I think you call that full-size?) Big enough for two people anyway! At home I generally sleep in a single though (twin-size?) We haven't tried sleeping in my bed yet - I think it would be a bit snug/uncomfortable, but maybe in the winter it might not be too bad to cuddle that close!

Tried talking it through with your partner?

the person you are sharing the bed with aware that you are having this trouble falling asleep? I think if you told them and explained that you'll need to find a calming down routine, they won't be too worried.

Thanks - I guess communication never hurts! Thanks as well princealbertofb for the information about the sleep cycles. I had heard before that 4-hour cycles work well for a lot of people i.e. have 4 hours or 8 hours or 12 hours for ultimate refreshment, but hadn't heard before about shorter cycles also being applicable.


Thanks again to all - It has been really reassuring to hear from everyone