08-19-2016, 02:49 PM
Thank you guys for your comments..., they were really helpful...
From the beginning of our relationship, roles in the couple were clearly defined, he was in need of help and I was the helping one. That situation was supposedly temporary until he recovered from his back surgery. Now, one year after, his health has imported but those roles have settled definitely. I keep cooking, driving, shopping and cleaning. Call me simple or even primitively, but I could be perfectly coping with that if our sex life was satisfactory, but here again the temporary seems to be getting definitive. Painkillers and antidepressants killed his libido too. It was very hard for me, I was madly in love and strongly attracted to him, being beside him without being able to touch him was a real torture. But I accepted it hoping for the better days ahead us...he even told me about the phantasies (phantasmes in French ) of bottoming for me. But recovery in his health didn't improved his libido, so I started to take it personally. I seemed to be the one failing. So I started to feel depressive and sad, or suffering "crisis " as he call them. He tried to reassure me telling me he loved me and finds me attractive and sexy, and tha he wants to spend the rest of his life with me...and that those "crisis" are endangering our relationship. But nice words are easy to say, but I need facts..., and I don't see any..., and he doesn't talks about his "phantasmes" of bottoming for me. I found he has 2 dildos ( one of them is really huge...) and pics of him bottoming with his ex... That was really shocking for me. Obviously those phantasies have been there for a while, but I'm not included on them anymore...
2 days ago I stayed awaken the whole night and decided I had to talk to him. Finally. After work, tired of an sleepless night, I drove to his place ready to face this important conversation..., just to find he was having a nap after an exhausting day at work. When he woke up he was starving, so what did I do? I cooked dinner..., this mornings drove him to work and after cleaned his place..., you'd call me stupid..., I call it commitment...I just want him to feel ok.... But I want to be OK myself too...
So how should I face that conversation? I don want to victimise because I'm an adult after all, and perfectly responsible of my acts..., nobody forced me to cook, or to clean..., but I want him to realise I have my needs too..., and I want to have a healthy sexual life within our couple, but I don't want to look like a desperate pervert.... , I want it to be a constructive conversation but I'm really afraid...
Ps, another detail about me, I'm not a " fundamentalist top". I tried one of his dildos ( the small one) . I can't say I enjoyed it but I managed to feel comfortable with it inside , and I only bled a bit, so That gave me the courage to offer him my cherry ( if you don't count the dildo, of course), and this time things were different because my bf is huge, but anyway it was symbolic..., which brings a question to my mind..., for you bottom guys..., do you feel sexy and masculine a guy how has been cleaning and cooking for you? I mean, do you feel like bottoming for a guy who has been cleaning and cooking for you? Sorry if the question makes you feel uncomfortable..., I guess I'm still thinking what did I do wrong...��
From the beginning of our relationship, roles in the couple were clearly defined, he was in need of help and I was the helping one. That situation was supposedly temporary until he recovered from his back surgery. Now, one year after, his health has imported but those roles have settled definitely. I keep cooking, driving, shopping and cleaning. Call me simple or even primitively, but I could be perfectly coping with that if our sex life was satisfactory, but here again the temporary seems to be getting definitive. Painkillers and antidepressants killed his libido too. It was very hard for me, I was madly in love and strongly attracted to him, being beside him without being able to touch him was a real torture. But I accepted it hoping for the better days ahead us...he even told me about the phantasies (phantasmes in French ) of bottoming for me. But recovery in his health didn't improved his libido, so I started to take it personally. I seemed to be the one failing. So I started to feel depressive and sad, or suffering "crisis " as he call them. He tried to reassure me telling me he loved me and finds me attractive and sexy, and tha he wants to spend the rest of his life with me...and that those "crisis" are endangering our relationship. But nice words are easy to say, but I need facts..., and I don't see any..., and he doesn't talks about his "phantasmes" of bottoming for me. I found he has 2 dildos ( one of them is really huge...) and pics of him bottoming with his ex... That was really shocking for me. Obviously those phantasies have been there for a while, but I'm not included on them anymore...
2 days ago I stayed awaken the whole night and decided I had to talk to him. Finally. After work, tired of an sleepless night, I drove to his place ready to face this important conversation..., just to find he was having a nap after an exhausting day at work. When he woke up he was starving, so what did I do? I cooked dinner..., this mornings drove him to work and after cleaned his place..., you'd call me stupid..., I call it commitment...I just want him to feel ok.... But I want to be OK myself too...
So how should I face that conversation? I don want to victimise because I'm an adult after all, and perfectly responsible of my acts..., nobody forced me to cook, or to clean..., but I want him to realise I have my needs too..., and I want to have a healthy sexual life within our couple, but I don't want to look like a desperate pervert.... , I want it to be a constructive conversation but I'm really afraid...
Ps, another detail about me, I'm not a " fundamentalist top". I tried one of his dildos ( the small one) . I can't say I enjoyed it but I managed to feel comfortable with it inside , and I only bled a bit, so That gave me the courage to offer him my cherry ( if you don't count the dildo, of course), and this time things were different because my bf is huge, but anyway it was symbolic..., which brings a question to my mind..., for you bottom guys..., do you feel sexy and masculine a guy how has been cleaning and cooking for you? I mean, do you feel like bottoming for a guy who has been cleaning and cooking for you? Sorry if the question makes you feel uncomfortable..., I guess I'm still thinking what did I do wrong...��
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