12-07-2016, 04:24 PM
I think it's normal to worry but you can't let that guide your life. You can prepare in some ways for someone passing -- even someone younger than yourself -- so why don't you voice these concerns to your 'older' partner and see how you can both take provisions for a time when one of you will be left behind grieving?
For the rest, I'd say you should cross that bridge when you get there. There's no telling how either of you will need to grieve and mourn once you face the other's death, and -- who knows? -- you might be the first to die, though statistically it's probably logical to hope that you both have similar life expectancies.
To illustrate this point, I never expected my mother to die in her early eighties, I really didn't. I dealt with the mourning as I felt I could at the time. I still miss her, of course. Now, my father, I would have expected to kick the bucket before mum did, and yet some 8 years on, he's still quite alive and fortunately in pretty good health for an octogenarian. So what I'm saying is, don't fret about someone dying and how you'll cope, and start preparing yourself for anyone-you-care-for's departure from this planet. The one thing is to talk about it, joke about it, and if necessary to make financial and material provisions for whoever is left outliving the partnership.
Take care, and do discuss this with him. I think it would help your peace of mind and sanity, but be aware that some people find it very hard to talk about death.
For the rest, I'd say you should cross that bridge when you get there. There's no telling how either of you will need to grieve and mourn once you face the other's death, and -- who knows? -- you might be the first to die, though statistically it's probably logical to hope that you both have similar life expectancies.
To illustrate this point, I never expected my mother to die in her early eighties, I really didn't. I dealt with the mourning as I felt I could at the time. I still miss her, of course. Now, my father, I would have expected to kick the bucket before mum did, and yet some 8 years on, he's still quite alive and fortunately in pretty good health for an octogenarian. So what I'm saying is, don't fret about someone dying and how you'll cope, and start preparing yourself for anyone-you-care-for's departure from this planet. The one thing is to talk about it, joke about it, and if necessary to make financial and material provisions for whoever is left outliving the partnership.
Take care, and do discuss this with him. I think it would help your peace of mind and sanity, but be aware that some people find it very hard to talk about death.
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