To the Atheists w/ a Religious Past : That Nostalgic Feeling

[Sherman8D]

I can't speak for myself but a good friend (who is also an ex-girlfriend) came from a deeply religious Russian Orthodox home, one that believed things like you could be cured of cancer if you touched a priest's robes at the right time. Her family was close, and she never told them she was gay, and that she later became an atheist...though I don't think it was out of self-defense as it was for you, but then maybe it was and I don't know it, and maybe she doesn't know it either. She's still open to the paranormal (though with what I'd call scifi theories for a lot of it rather than occult, spiritualist, or new age beliefs), and she treats higher mathematics the way some treat a holy book, perhaps as if she was trying to regain something she lost.

I know what hurts her the most is how her family is. She was very close with some, and couldn't stand the rejection she was certain she'd get, and one has died. This depresses her. And what angers her is that they've allowed some dangerous criminals to stay with them (they openly disapprove of their criminal lifestyles and urge them to go straight, but they're still family) and yet a lesbian like her could not be tolerated as God obviously cursed people like that, and those with God/Christ within them must also despise them now. She could be a cocaine-addled hitwoman and they'd still have a place for her (with many sermons and lectures, but still), but not a lesbian who loves another woman, and atheists aren't accepted either, which implies that a lesbian atheist is about the worst thing you can be in the eyes of those she loved as a child.

I feel really bad for her, and her depressed state (and alcohol problem she has that runs in the family) worries me.

What you have described doesn't seem to be nostalgia (and probably suited for a different thread) , but I will respond nonetheless. Correct me if I'm wrong though lol

Main differences about me that made my life easier compared to others:
I was not born in a religious household. Even though my mother herself was catholic, she never bothered taking me or my brothers to church enough for us to care. I'm sure she was more religiously active in her youth, but not anymore. I started getting into it on my own will when I was a sophomore or junior in highschool. The weight of religious influence was not as heavy on me as those who were born into the religious lifestyle.

Similarities:
My church felt strongly about faith-based healing as well.
Yes, I think I think all humans desire an explanation to how the world works. For me, I like reading up on psychology stuff. It makes more sense than believing in some man-in-the-sky nonsense.

Feelings:
I'm sorry to hear that about your good friend. gosh, I hope she gets well soon.
Ugh, I hate that! Me loving someone from the same sex equates abhorrent criminal behavior??! People have been spouting that bullshit for a looong time.
My only shred of advice for her is to find friends where friendship "transcends time and space." Make her own personal friend-family. Creating a support system that's solely dependent on one's family is too crippling imo.